I loved cars. Especially my car. It was almost my favorite thing beside playing my guitar and my girlfriend Jaymie. All of them were my escape from reality. She was a beat up old Cadillac but she had a lot of power because I took care of her. Everyday I was working on her inside and out. She was good to me. This day was no different. Bending over my car I worked on the wire that connected to the battery. Poor baby had needed a jump few days before and I was trying to figure out why. Sweat poured off my forehead as I wiped it gently with my almost black hands and stared down into the hood. My shirt was off and the sun was basking on my bare back, which actually felt good despite how hot it was.
"Justin!." And there it was. That voice. I looked down at my hands holding the wire under the hood and saw them shaking. I took a deep breath through my nose and tried to relax my body. Maybe he wasn't angry.
"Yeah dad! I'm out here." My dad appeared through the door that led from the house to the garage. I glanced up at him from under the hood of my car. His face was emotionless and his eyes held rage. I was wrong, he was pissed.
"Where is my wrench?" I looked down at the wrench in my hand and silently cursed myself for even touching it, but I had needed it. I stood up straight, trying not show how bad I was trembling, and held it up so he could see it.
"I have it." He took a few steps closer.
"How many times have I told you not to touch my fucking tools?"
"I..I'm sorry." I glanced down at the ground, avoiding eye contact. Now he stood in front of me and held out his hand. I slowly placed the wrench in his hand and saw my hand shake as I let it go. He must have seen it and it gave him an adrenaline rush cause I didn't even see what had happened next. All I did was feel it it. The feeling of metal hitting my cheek bone, and the crack in my ears. I squinted my eyes as pain shit through my cheek and all the way up to my head. My head turned involuntary with the impact and I lost my balance and hit the ground. I found myself holding my cheek as he stood over me, staring at me with this rage in his eyes I had never seen before. I looked up at him, tears laying in my eyes that I refuse to let fall. He could probably see them but he wouldn't see them fall. Nope.
"Don't touch my shit again. Or next time you will regret it." With that he turned and went back inside the house. Like I didn't regret it this second as I laid there unable to get up. Now I let the tears fall as I sat up straight and the pain ripped through my head. I felt something wet running down my cheek so I ran my hand across the side of my face thinking it was just the tears. When I looked at my fingertips the site of red filled my eyes. It was blood. Than I tasted it. I looked at my hands and back at the door he had disappeared through, and I lost it. I broke down right there. I bent my head and cried, let the tears just fall.
He had always been like this. It started when I was about five and I would sometimes provoke him so he wouldn't go after my little bother Jaxon and sister Jazzy. So I would end up taking the beating, but it was alright to me. As long as he didn't touch them. Best nights was when he wore his rings. I sometimes sat up all night wondering what I did to deserve it. Always wondered why he hated me so much.
My mom didn't know about it. I kept it a secret because I knew she loved him. She loved more then I had ever seen anyone love anyone. He never hit her. He treated her like gold. Which I knew made no sense. Maybe he did it to hide what he was doing to me. And it worked, cause I knew if I told her she wouldn't believe me. She'd say Justin, "you're just angry with him, and you're trying to start things". So I hid it. I hid the bruises, as many as I could anyway, with long t-shirts and pants. The ones on my face I always had an excuse. I loved skateboarding so I'd say I just fell. She'd just shake her head and say "You're such a boy baby. Just be careful you don't break anything." Surprisingly my dad never broke anything on me. Probably didn't wanna make it to fucking obvious what he was doing to me.
