I miss him..I miss him so much, it hurts. Physically and mentally.
Yet, how can you miss someone if they never would stay?
I love him, but I can only dream of him feeling the same. Occasionally though he'll say the words that I want to hear, but they're just empty words. All I can virtually do is hope that one day, he'll mean it when he says it.
I know what you're thinking: "Is she fucking obsessed with this dude?"
Maybe? I don't fucking know, all I know is that I'm in waaaay too deep.
All because of him.
I'm corrupt..Corrupt because of him.
I try to be happy like I originally was and would have been, but I can't bring myself to do so. Even my closest friends can tell I'm not as happy as I was.
I can't stop fucking thinking about this boy.
All I can think of is if he's with somebody else. Thinking of that just kills me from the inside out.
He'll come back, right? I know he will, he always does. Just that thought alone brings a single ray of sunlight to my rainy day.
But then, it quickly fades away..And my damn subconscious takes over.
He won't come back. He's probably with somebody else. Somebody that's extremely better than me. Skinnier, prettier, I'd say funnier, but in all honesty, I'm pretty fucking hilarious if I do say so myself.
Everything. Every little fucking thing reminds me of him and it's eating me alive. Music, movies, even my damn dreams!
"Jackie, you okay?" I hear my friend say, nudging me as well, taking me out of this depressed state.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine." I sigh and give her and my other friends my best smile.
"Uh, okay. While you were day dreaming or something, we were discussing what to have for lunch. Ideas?" Brianna says, raising her eyebrows at me.
"Erm..Let's just get some Chinese food, fuck it." I reply.
...
After having pointless conversation and me drifting off into "Hell" from time to time while stuffing our faces with Chow Mein and such while all the fucking prissy people look over at us from time to time whole we try to enjoy our meal, just like the rest of them, we end up going to the mall afterwards, just to kill time.
"Where do you wanna go?" Camilla asks.
"Let's go upstairs, there's better shit up there." I respond and we all begin to head towards the escalators, but I suddenly stop in my tracks.
There he is...
I'd recognize that tall figure anywhere, along with one of the many flannels this man owns.
One thing I don't recognize though..
The chick that his arm is wrapped lazily around.
(Hiii. Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of this new book.(: I'm really excited for it. Yes, the main character is myself and it have my personality since a couple of my friends thought it be funny if I made a story where the character acts like me. So, voila! I will be uploading the next chapter tomorrow. Yaaaaay. Alright, well. Take care x.)
