Girl, 14 "Attractive" but Insane

Girl, 14

Hey! This is my first story so please bear that in mind! ;)

here you go: Enjoy!

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Eyes, nose, lips. Hayley was drawing a face on her hand. She should have been making notes for her history essay: a list of 'Reasons why King Charles I was unpopular'. But instead she was giving herself a love-tattoo of the beautiful William Smith. A touch of Leonardo Di Caprio, a hint of Oli Sykes and the merest suggestion of Mike Ayley...(NOTE: You get the point, he's supposed to be hot. To me, all of these people are ugly :O) ...The flicked-up hair, the slanty grin....Oh no! It didn't look like Williams Smith at all. It looked like a demented iguana.

Art wasn't Jess's strong point. She wrote: William Smith - or demented iguana? under her tattoo, and coughed in a signal to her friend Samantha that communication was desired. it was a kind of ringtone. A cough in the rythm of the latest Marianas Trench single. Sam looked up from the next desk and Hayley held the tattoo up. Sam smiled, but it was kind of a pretend smile, and immediately afterwards Sam glanced furtively at Miss Dingle and dived straight back into her work.

Miss Dingle - Dingbat to her fans - was glaring from the teacher's desk. "Hayley Jordan! What's your pwoblem?"

"Oh God, Miss, there are so many," sighed Hayley, hastily pulling her sleeve down to hide the portrait - tattoo of William Smith: the Demented Iguana. "Tragic, broken home, hideous genetic inheritance...massive arse..." a few people giggled.

"Get on with your work snapped Miss Ding;e, trying to sound steely and terrifying, even though she had a weedy little voice and couldnt pronounce her 'R's. "If you showedhalf as much intewest in writing Histowy Pwojects as you do in ting to be amusing, you'd be star pupil instead of the class dunce. You're going to fail misewably unless you pull your finger out! You think you're such a clever dick!"

Everybody hid their faces in their books and cracked up - as silently as possible, of course. The whole room shook. Miss Dingle always used this old fashioned slang that sounded faintly obscene. "and the West of you!" Miss Dingle yelled, "Be quiet and get on with your List of Weasons - unless you all want to stay behind after school! Im quite tempted to put the whole gwoup in detention! Don't push me to far! I can quite easily pull out the Big one!"

There was a muffled explosion as everyone tried to avoid laughing out loud by eating their own tonsils, but frenzied scribbling was also resumed. Nobody wanted to stay behind after school. Hayley picked up her dictionary and tried to look smart. She turned the pages, hoping to find a rude word. Suddenly she had an idea. Maybe you can consult the dictionary like a Tarot. Think of a question and then open it at random. Hayley closed her eyes and concerntrated. Will William Smith and I ever be an item?

Her finger jabbed a word. Parsley. A well - known garden herb, used for flavouring soup. Well, not a brilliant result, obviously. Prehaps you can get a boy to fall in lve with you by rubbing parsley behind your ears, or sprinkling chopped parsley in his pants while he was swimming.

Hayley caught Dingbat's eye again. A dangerous moment. Hastily Hayley coppied down the title of the history essay. All she had to do now was read chapter 6 of the history book. Hayley flicked through the book and looked at the pictures. Hayley looked at Sam's essay and saw that she had already written pages. Hayley was going to ave to make a start to catch up with her. She picked up her pen and let her imagination run wild. This was always dangerous.

Reasons why King Charles was unpopular:

1. He never changed his pants

2. He refused to grow

3. He passed a law saying everyone taller than him had to have their legs chopped off.

4. He slurped hsi soup

5. He used to bottle his farts and sell them to tourists.

Hayleys inspiration soon dried up and gazed in adoration at the tattoo of William Smith: The demented Iguana. How she longed to have his babies. or possibly lay his eggs.

Hayley started another list: "Why William Smith is Popular" This was much easier than the history list.

1. Hair like golden grass

2. Eyes blue enough to swim in (He's beginning to sound like a holiday destination)

3. A cute, slow, slanty smile that could defrost Antartica.

4. Not loud and trashy. Doesnt talk much

5. Oozes with mystery and Charisma

Suddenly the bell rang and the class gave a massive sigh of relief. Hannah, a plump, dark - haired girl with savage eyebrows turned round to Hayley and hissed " Don't forget my party tomorrow night! Be there or else!"

"Sure" said Hayley. "I was gonna stay in and knit some divine socks but for you, i'll make that major sacrifice." Hannahs family was quite rich - at least to Hayley's standards. Hayley was looking foward to quafing champagne and swinging from chanderliers.

Hayley's best friend Sam was the only one still writing. She scribbled away harder than ever, her golden hair glittering. One grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again, and revive small insects that had been trodden on.

Sam finnished off her sentence and turned to Hayley gand grinned. Its a good job the beautiful, over achieving bitch is my best friend, thought Hayley, or I might just have to kill her.

"Hayley Jordan!" Thundered Miss Dingle in her tiny fairy's voice, abouve the noise of people packing up their bags. "Will you come up here and show me your List of Weasons, please!"

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Thats Chapter one! Tell me if you like it. PLEASE. and comment and vote :)

- Dia