Blazing

Part 1

          I could hardly remember the past. The happy laughs, the dancing, the funny off hand comments that anyone could say anytime. The exchange of looks, smirks, laughs, blushes, comments, and faces that our parents exchanged going right over our heads. I must have been so carefree, not a worry in the world. But then came the holocaust (no reference to the nazi's orJews). The burning, blazing, inferno which consumed everything in it's evil, glowing, ruby colored path of destruction and sorrow. The screams of unadulterated terror and pain. The realisation that my whole world was burning in that inferno and I could do nothing about it. The flaming, scorching, of my heart. My soul! I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself for comfort, but all I could see was red. The color of a blistering, sizzling, iron. Ready to burn you until you are unrecognisable. The color of my sisters hair as her glassy eyes look up at me from inside the house from which I had just escaped. An image that would haunt my dreams for weeks to come. The color of a venomous snake about to strike. To annialate you and take you from everything you love. The color of pain. The color of heartache. The color of... the color of... the color of the blazing house as you run outside, away from everything you love, almost suffocating in the thick smoke, smog, and haze which surrounds you. Choking and gasping as wet hot tears run down your cheeks in a path that will become worn with use. The color of torment.

          When I run my hands over my face, it is as hot as... as... as a beautiful hot summers day at the beach. But the fire consumes the water. As... a fluffy towel waiting for you after a warm bath. But the towel scorches my skin, leaving it peeling in searing agony. As... my bare feet on concrete after a day of sitting in the sun. But the concrete turns to lava and sucks me down into it's flowing depths, consuming me whole. I sigh and give myself up, submitting to the images and fears stored in my mind. My skin turns to ice in fear, while simultaneously blazing and burning, cracking and cackling. Laughing at my fears, yet simultaneously fuelling them. They consume me. Overwhelming me and ravaging my body. Consuming all of my energy and spirit. 

          A pair of hands pouncing on my back pried me out of my reverie. Not that I was sorry to see it go. I whirled around, eyes wide in surprise. 'Hey!' My sister exclaimed in her usual upbeat tones.

          'Oh, Hi...' I managed a smile after fully coming back to reality. I let the tense muscles in my shoulders and back loosen as I reminded myself of my reality in my usual routine. This is my sister. My real parents are upstairs cooking dinner. I am downstairs. They are alive and well. You are alive and well. There was, is, and probably never will be a fire. Wait-you-said-probably-will-never-be-but-that's-what-you-thought-before-it-happened-and-then-they-all-died-and-you-were-left-alone. My thoughts begin to run wild, but I pull myself back as I realise that my sister is still talking.

           'Come on, dinners ready! You've been sitting here forever and I'm huuunnngggrrryyyyy....' She dragged the word out and used a whiney voice as I let her pull me up the stairs. It was okay.