I was in love. Everything about him made me tingle. Not only was he smart, funny, and a gentleman, but he was beautiful. When I looked at his face it was soft, with such perfect features that would make Beauty look like a Beast. He had shoulder length, jet black hair, that he always pulled back with his sun glasses, giving a clear view of his eyes. He had the most intriguing and peculiar eyes; they were light blue with specks of green and hazel, until he tilted his head and the sun made them look gold. Everything about his body was perfect, too. He was tall with broad muscled shoulders, and had nice tight abs. Nothing about him was ever out of place. That should have been a warning on its own. He was too good to be true. He was a dream that turned into a nightmare.
* * *
I had no choice. I had to forgive him. I didn't want to be alone through it all. He told me not to worry. He said he would take care of me. He promised he would never lay a hand on me again. I believed him. I had to. I can't take care of myself like this. I need his help.
I didn't know until now that his idea of taking care of things was by taking the easy way out. He wants to get rid of it. I know that it wouldn’t be smart to keep it. I have plans. I want to go to college. I want to get a job and be successful. This thing would ruin all of my plans. But my emotions are overwhelming me. Do I want to keep it? Should I let him decide for us? I can’t tell him what I'm thinking. He would get mad. I’m so confused. I can’t let him destroy it, but I know I should. I don’t know what to do.
* * *
I met Arriya my senior year of high school. It was the beginning of the year, and everyone was in the homecoming frenzy. Everyone except for me, that is. I was studying for my AP test, filling out college applications, and applying for scholarships. The last thing I wanted was to slack off my senior year and go to some crappy college. I had my whole life planned out; I wanted to major in chemical engineering, and travel the world. To achieve my goal, I basically planned to have no social life my senior year. I mean it really doesn’t matter if I have one, because when I go off for college I’m probably going to forget everyone.
Well, at the time, I didn't know Arriya that well. He had talked to me a few times and had eaten lunch with my friends and me, on occasions, but I would have never known that he liked me. I mean, it was impossible not to like him. Everything about him screamed, "I know I'm irresistible, but I still like to play it cool." I tried to stay away from his type, so I left him alone. That's why I was shocked when he asked me to homecoming. Not only that, but he did it in front of the whole school, I could've died. He planned his attack so I wouldn’t have the chance to say no. I have to admit, it was pretty smart and slightly romantic.
Even though the last thing I was looking for was a relationship, I was flattered. One of the hottest guys in school asked me, of all people, to homecoming. I thought about telling him no, but every time I tried to, I would look at his face and my heart would skip a beat. Two weeks later I was introducing him to my mom, and shopping for a dress that he paid for, might I add. During the weeks before homecoming he appeared to be my knight in shining armor. He took me to school and home, he helped me study, and he was kind to everyone. He was always around, and called me every day. At the time I didn’t think that was bad, but now I wish I could have seen the signs.
When homecoming came around he took me to the dance and treated me like a princess. I thought I was in love. So when he asked to take me back to his house after the dance I said ok. He took me to his house, and we talked; he showed me how to play his video games and then he put a movie on. Right then it was the perfect night. We snuggled on the couch, and he put his arm around me. About half way through the movie he tilted my head up towards him and just looked into my eyes. I noticed that his eyes looked slightly different in the light of the TV, almost like they were reflecting the color. I smiled. Thats what made him unique. His eyes. As I was admiring him, he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was filled with love. I felt the fireworks that everybody talks about coming with the first kiss. I felt love. After what felt like forever, he released my lips. "I love you," he told me. I smiled up at him and said it back. People say it's impossible to love someone you barely know, but I know this is real. Later that night he took me home and after one last kiss, he left.
The next week he seemed different. It was a faint difference, but I just knew it was there. During lunch he told me he wanted us to eat alone. I disagreed at first, but then gave in. He wanted some alone time with me, and I decided to give it to him. Throughout the month it became a pattern. Soon I was barely seeing my friends. Between preparing for AP exams, college, and Arriya, I seemed to be drifting farther and farther away from my friends and family.
A week before my last exam I decided to go over to his house to study. As soon as I saw him I knew something was off. I tried to ask him about it, but he just kept lying to my face, telling me he was fine. I decided not to push it. After we got our work done we started talking and things seemed like they were getting back to normal. Then he kissed me and asked the most surprising question. He asked me if I really truly loved him. When I told him that there was no one more in the world that I could love more, he beamed at me. After a few more kisses, he picked me up and took me to his bedroom saying he had a surprise. I had been in his bedroom before, but today he transformed it. There were flower petals everywhere, candles were lit, and the curtains were shut. On his radio he was playing our song.
I knew where this was going, and I didn't plan on letting it happen. I made up an excuse about having to be home soon, but he didn't buy it. I tried telling him that I wasn't ready for this, but he brushed that comment aside and laid me on the bed. He tried to undress me, but I told him no and tried to get up. He wouldn’t let me leave and kept pushing me down. He kept unbuttoning my shirt, but by then I was scared and angry. I tried fighting him off of me, but he was too strong. The whole time he kept saying that he was tired of waiting for me to get ready. He was ready now and he wanted me to be his. It’s like he was going crazy or something. I tried to get away, I kicked and screamed, but nobody heard me. He pinned me down and looked into my eyes. Tears were flowing down my face. I knew it was no use fighting so I looked away. There was nothing I could do.
When he was done with me, he left me on the bed and walked out. I didn’t waste any time getting out of there. I dont know why I didn't call the police. I just curled up in my bed and cried. I didn’t tell my mom what had happened although I know I should have. I still couldn't believe it really happened. Deep inside I still loved him, but every other inch of my being wanted to kill him.
All weekend he called me, and left messages of his tearful apologies. I wanted to forgive him, but I just couldn’t. I lied about being sick that Monday, and stayed home. Arriya saw that I wasn’t at school and tried to come over, but I threatened to call the police. He sent flowers and my favorite candy all week, but I couldn't forgive him. I told him that these material things meant nothing to me. He had taken something from me that I could never get back. My mom was so confused about what I was mad about. She didn't know what a perfect guy like him could do so wrong, to make me so angry. She kept telling me I should forgive and forget, but she just didn’t know, and I couldn’t tell her. I would never be able to forget this, and it would take time for me to ever forgive him.
That Saturday I went for a walk, and when I came home there he was. “Talk to him.” my mother said, and then she left. Even though when I looked into his face my heart still skipped a beat, I wanted to throw daggers at him. He apologized more times than I could keep up with. He got down on his knees and begged for forgiveness, but I refused. I yelled at him, hit him, and cried. He took it all and still wanted me to forgive him. Eventually he left.
After about a month without him, I was finally getting back on track with my education. I had taken my last AP exam and was on my way home. I was halfway home when my mom asked me to pick up some feminine supplies.
At that moment, it was like all of the oxygen around me was sucked away, and the gravity increased. I couldn’t breathe or move. I was so caught up in life that I didn’t even realize that I was late.
I got the supplies for my mom and me, and headed home. When I got home I checked to make sure she wasn’t there, and rushed to the bathroom. After about 30 min. of waiting I looked at the pregnancy test. It was positive.
