I paced around my room remembering when I was happy. Lately I've been hanging out with Isaac. I'm wondering... Why? Why does the world have to be such a hurtful, lonely place? When the door bell rings I run outside to meet Isaac and his mom. We've both started going to Support Group. We need the support. When we get there Patrick is already telling his ball lessness. We introduce ourselves after the story. Oblivion. Oblivion is my fear. I know it is inevitable but anything to remind me of Gus is very necessary. Isaac gets up to get a cookie. I ask for chocolate chip, but they only have vanilla. Isaac accidentally tips over the lemonade bowl and it spills everywhere. Even on Patrick's "new" shoes. I rush over to help him. He's been having a pretty sucky day. First his brother broke his video game, today was Augustus 3 month death anniversary, and now this. He just can't get a break.
I'm laying on my bed with my pet dragon, but my head starts to ache. It's been happening pretty frequently. Ever since Gus passed, I've been skipping meals. I know it's unhealthy. But I just feel like poop. I don't think twice about the pounding in my head. All the sudden my dragon starts slowing down. It's happened before. Just a minor glitch. I start hitting it. It won't go faster. I start screaming and yelling and crying. I'm not ready to go! I'm not a bomb!
The next thing I know is that a white blinding light is blinding my eyesight. Is this really what Isaac has to go through? As my eyesight adjusted to the light and I could see my mom pacing the room with tears on her face.
"Honey! You're awake," she say as she hustles over to me. I looked around and noticed I was at the hospital. I could smell that awful hospitaly smell. This was just like my other time when I had to be rushed to the hospital because of my lungs that aren't actually lungs. The only difference this time is Gus isn't here.
I watch some soap operas for a couple hours before another nurse decided to stick a needle in my arm. Honestly I was used to. The only thing I wasn't used to was not being able to see Augustus' crooked smile.
When we came back home my mom made cookies. Just great! More sympathy. As summer ends, I start dreading my college classes. I don't think I can handle another boring 2 hour poetry class. Honestly, I think I should just skip school and join a gang club. I mean really! I can knock some police officers out with this big oxygen tank following me around. It's like a shadow that doesn't seem to go. Even in the dark.
