Tikuahote's Great Adventures

Tiki And The Crazy Cat Lady

Once upon a time there was a cat. His name was Tikuahote. He lived with a very nice family, but they didn't let him go outside very much. But sometimes Tiki (a nickname for Tikuahote) snuck out of his owner's house. He was inspired by Slinky Malinkly, a cat from a book (a very good book. Tiki suggests that you read it.) So anyways, Tiki snuck out one day, and no one noticed that he had gone! Not even his mama, Julia, the biggest of the hairless apes (Tiki later learned that they were called humans) noticed that he had disappeared.

Tiki trotted down 87th street, and barely jumped out of the way when a monster came rushing by. "What was that?" Tiki thought to himself. He would later learn that they were called 'cars'. He kept on going until he got to Greenwood Market (for this was in the good old days when Greenwood Market still existed. Alas today Fred Meyer has taken over their space.) Tiki ran around inside, looking for tuna or chicken. All of a sudden someone crouched down and picked him up.

"Oh no! It's one of those crazy cat ladies!" Tiki was very worried as he thought about all that he knew about crazy cat ladies, "they always have three or more cats. My mama only has me and Jack so she's not a crazy cat lady. There are some scary stories about crazy cat ladies though." The crazy cat lady put Tiki in her basket, and happily continued shopping. Tiki was horrified!

He clawed, scratched, and hissed, but he was wedged so far down in the basket he couldn't get out. "When she buys all this junk," he thought, "I can escape." So Tiki pretended to give up until it came time for the crazy cat lady to check out.

The crazy cat lady, after what felt to Tiki like hours of shopping, picking, choosing, putting down, grabbing again, and being a crazy cat lady, finally reached the lines to check out

"Oh no!" Tiki thought, "There are so many people ahead of the crazy cat lady! I'll never get out of here!" Tiki pondered and mused, but luckily the crazy cat lady was one of those incredibly annoying people who thinks that they should automatically be allowed to cut to the front of the line. For Tiki, salvation was drawing nearer!

The crazy cat lady put her basket up on the counter so the cashier could scan all the items. Tiki was prepared to jump out of the basket at a moments notice. "Wait for it..wait for it...and YES!" Tikuahote leaped out of the basket just as the cashier grabbed the last item, clawed his way past the crazy cat lady, and cat-sprinted all the way to his human's home. Freedom at last!

And the moral of the story is - don't trust crazy cat ladies to not steal your cats from you in the grocery store and cutting to the front of a long line is a stupid and mean move.

That's All Folks!