b r e a t h e // phan

0.11

•phil•

He's gonna say no, he's gonna say no, he's gonna say no.

My thoughts kept telling me just that, setting me up for the worst. There was really nothing for me to worry about, thought my mind dramaticized it; I was just asking Dan to come down to breakfast with me.

I stood outside Dan's room door, hand raised to knock. I couldn't get myself to move my hand however, it was like it was stuck. I honestly couldn't make my hand touch the door, as I was too anxious as to what Dan will say. Sure, he came to my room to play a video game after sitting and talking to me yesterday. But I didn't know if that meant we were friends or if it was just a one-time-thing. I'm kind of new to this 'friends' thing. It seemed as though he liked me though, like we could be friends.

However, I'm afraid he thinks I'm too clingy, or maybe I'm annoying, like the people at school thought I was, or maybe am. I'll know now; if dan thinks I'm annoying or weird, then I'll know the people at school weren't mean or exaggerative, I'll know that annoying and weird and clingy is just what I am. Wow, that'd be a big confidence booster.

We only met yesterday. It shouldn't be a big deal to ask him to breakfast with me, yet I was freaking out about it. I guess that's what loneliness does to you; you get the feeling that everybody is against you and/or hates you, whether they do or not.

I breathed in and out. It's not a big deal. It was a big deal. But it wasn't. Thoughts in my head kept tumbling over each other as I decided on what I wanted to do. Knock, idiot. Just knock!

Before I could do or think anything else, my hand brought itself against the door, knocking quietly three times. My breath caught in my throat, staring directly at the door. I waited for some sound, any other sound than the ones in the hallway and coming from the other rooms. The second I was starting to think he might still be sleeping, I heard Dan's voice come through the door.

"Come in," he yelled.

I stepped in, shutting the door behind me. I looked at Dan with a small polite grin on my face, only to see his eyes were very watery and he looked very tired. My grin washed off my face completely.

"What happened? Are you alright?" I asked Dan hurriedly, mentally slapping myself for always being too concerned for others.

Dan nodded, "yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing."

See Phil? You knew you shouldn't have come in. He's obviously upset over something and very tired, now really isn't the time to get him to come out of his room-

"You sure?" I interrupted my own thoughts, "I'm here if you need to talk about something, to let it off your chest. I hope you know that."

Dan shrugged, scratching his head, "thanks."

I nodded at him, smiling subtly before trying to think of a way to go into asking him. I sat down on the side of his bed, right beside his bent knees. He was laying on his left side, knees bent slightly as he looked at me.

I looked down as I thought, looking back up at him as I brought it up, "I was going to come ask you to go to breakfast with me, but you're obviously very, very tired." I laughed a little to lighten the mood.

Dan looked at me, shaking his head quickly, "No! I mean, no. I can come. Though... is it showing how tired I am?"

I scanned his face, his brown curled hair in a mess upon his head and black circles under his chocolatey-brown eyes. His skin was pretty pale, paler than it usually is. His eyelids were actually fighting themselves to keep from closing you could tell. The outer parts of his eye that were supposed to be white were actually tinged red from sleep deprication.

Nodding with a sympathetic smile on my face, I told him, "If we're being honest? Yeah, you look really tired. Kind of like you came back from the dead."

Dan chuckled subtly at my attempt of a joke, "I believe it."

"Given that," I offered, standing from the bed, "you're seriously sleep deprived, maybe we can just eat at lunch, kr even tomorrow morning for breakfast instead-"

Dan shook his head again, "No! no. I'm coming, give me a sec."

Dan sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. He looked to his bedside table, picking up a piece of paper and reading it. I glanced over the top and read what it said upside down in my vision:

Dan,
I've already done your IV medicine stuff, either go down and get breakfast or stay in bed and get rest and I'll get your food for you. I'll be back in an hour to see if you've gone or if you're still sleeping. I recommend getting some rest, though it's fine if you eat first.
-Kailie

"See?" I pointed out, "Even Kailie wants you to get rest! She's a nurse, you need to listen to nurses."

Dan turned the letter around and pointed to a line, quoting, "'Though it's fine if you eat first.' We're going to eat."

Putting the letter aside, he stood, stretching and yawning in unison. He grabbed a soft blue robe hanging off the bathroom door before commanding, "let's go."

I chuckled, "are you seriously about to wear a robe down to breakfast?"

Dan scrunched his eyebrows at me, "I wear whatever I want to breakfast. Anyone who doesn't like it, doesn't have to look." He put his head high and sashayed away from me, and I laughed at his sass.

We walked together to the elevators, pressing the down button. As we waited, I looked at Dan and mentioned, "I like sassy Dan."

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, and I grinned, shrugging.

"Yeah," I nodded, messing around with him, "He's a lot funnier than regular you."

Dan rolled his eyes, "Yeah, says you."

I chuckled again, looking to Dan. He was staring at me with a small grin playing his features. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, chuckling a little. Dan didn't answer, just staring, the grin fading off his face. I waved a hand in front of him.

"Dan," I dragged out his name, and it seemed he snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

He glanced to me, "Oh, sorry. I zone out a lot." He looked at the ground before looking in front of him as the elevator doors opened. We stepped inside the box.

Dan pressed the ground floor where the cafeteria was, and the doors eased to a shut before gliding down. We were in silence, watching the numbers of the floors go down on the screen by the door.

"You know," Dan said, breaking the silence, "I've always been scared of elevators."

"Really?" I laughed, looking at Dan. He sighed and smiled before continuing.

"Yeah. I've always been afraid that it might break and get stuck or that the cord would snap and I would fall to my death."

I nodded, "I know what you mean, I'm kind of scared of that too. I suppose everyone is though."

Dan nodded, "I mean, it's not a phobia of mine or anything, but the idea gives me chills."

"Yeah," I let out a small laugh at his proclamation of fear before hearing the elevator ding, announcing its arrival to the ground floor. The doors slid open and Dan and I walked out, turning right in the long hallway to the cafeteria.

•••
really short chapter with a bad ending wow good job me
but the entirety of it was kinda cute ngl so i'll give myself that
i'll be updating again, i just planned the breakfast of theirs to be pretty long so i didn't want to have a 4000 word chapter or something so i'm spacing it out :)

i've gotten so much writing done this week i'm so proud of myself woO
-kay xx