Strange love

that girl is strange

thats Matt in the pictue*

*Lukes P.o.v*

damn

that girl is strange

I chuckle softly to myself remembering all the weird stuff she's said today

I seem to do that a lot more

laugh

it's like her jokes are the stupidest things ever but she says it without ease

she's forward she goes for what she wants she doesn't think twice and she drives me crazy

her lips her hair her laugh her smile her eyes Damn her eyes

I shake my head she doesn't like me forget about her she's my weakness and it pisses me off

she just toys with me and doesn't know how bad it affects me yea sure I can pretend I don't give a shit

....but for how long

when truly she puts me through a rollercoaster of emotions

when I first laid my eyes on her I thought

oh look an easy target, but she was far from an easy target

she was just jogging she looked focused carefree and beautiful

beyond beautiful, but the girl was smart she seemed used to dodging her way out of danger what surprised me the most how fast she reacted her body language screamed "I might be running away from you but boy touch me and you might as well dig your grave"

she put up fight honestly she would've broken my limbs if it hadn't been for the chloroform

but no she doesn't like me

she doesn't want to be friends even

I'm going to fast

what if I open my heart to her and instead of rebuilding it she damages it

instead of trust she has a suspicion

instead of hope she lacks faith

I don't think I'm capable of loving anymore

it just

hurts

but who am I to talk when I lied to her yes I lied

her Dad isn't jail he lives in Paris when her brother Chris called the guards on him we bailed him out and he moved to Paris we aren't the "mafia" we are a gang I only told her that so she won't freak out

our gang consists of 13 people well 12 if you don't include me I'm not really a gang member I never wanted this I never planned to kidnap or kill yes I kill I've killed 11 people, terrible people, though they were a threat to the gang and the world I had too

killing people doesn't give me a sick pleasure like some people it gives me grief and depression it all started last when my mom she was sick really sick she was at death point we had no money to support her after my dad left her for some stupid slut she quit her job and gave up on life she just sits there doing nothing her life quickly became

nothing

I tried everything I could I couldn't help her

I quit school I worked five jobs just to keep the family back on track

until she slipped into the coma

no progress

I had to join the gang there was no other option