Fluorescence || Soonyoung

Fluorescence

"Three months of summer, fireflies rise from the withered grass" is an ancient Chinese folk belief when grass withers during the hot summer, it turns into fireflies that light up the darkest of nights in the forests. It is recorded to be an embellished scenery, as happy as it sounds, the lifespan of the fireflies is quite short which is about 20 days or so. They will fall one by one into the grass buried by the soil, patience filling in until next summer for the next generation of the fireflies. Isn't it quite funny, they light up the world in just their short period of time in this life, they light up the world as much as they can but then everything ends in an instant and darkness seals instead.

Every time Soonyoung closed his bleary eyes, he'd imagine your delightful smile that lit up his universe but it wouldn't last long for it turn into a black hole of darkness. The thoughts of you would revive the butterflies in his stomach, you were his root of happiness yet the saddest. He recalls when you said your 'forevers' but you know, sometimes a forever can seem very short. He didn't have the right to be sad, you never were his but the thoughts of you being with someone hurts like hell. He can spend sleepless amount of nights listening to your rants or most likely your melodious voice. He loved every single thing about you. Your brushed hair that was rested on your shoulder, your cherry lips that were lilac soft, your poppy red cheeks, your eyes that spoke poetically and the lavender smell that was always hanging around you. He was solefully in love yet he did not want to confess, why? Because he was terrified of apprehension and he comprehended your heart was caught by someone else's.

He clutched tightly on the long sleeves of his flannel causing his knuckles to turn red as he saw you with the guy you admired, jealousy struck while his heart ached. The pain was indescribable, his emotions were all over the place during that moment. He knew his feelings were wrong, he was supposed to be happy but instead sorrow and selfishness took over. Tears were forming up nearly blinding his vision, he wanted to forget that exact moment. His heart scattered just like the fireflies in the folktale and his whole body felt stiff.

Even though you illuminated his world, he knew it was temporary but that it's ok, time will heal and these fireflies will come alive once again, more alleviating.