Ambrosia [elsa/merida]

008. oh.

🍃 Phone Call #2

MERIDA RETURNS from the shower to find two text messages from Eret, but as she was to open them, a wacky shot of his face occupies her screen while her phone buzzes.

     It's probably short, as most of her calls from Eret are. Merida takes a can of beer, slumps down on her sofa, and then answers, "I'm not in the mood. What do you want?"

     "LISTEN, I SAY THIS" — Merida pulls the phone away from her ear, but still at an arm's length away, she hears, "FULLY KNOWING YOU'RE MY BOSS, BUT MERIDA, YOU ARE THE DUMBEST PERSON EVER."

     She brings the phone back to her ear, in a bit of shock. "What the fuck, Eret?!"

     "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, but you are. And I say this kindly."

     "Why, then, you bawheed?!" Despite the indignation, Merida's actually curious and wants him to explain, as they always do when the other messes up (like that time he nearly entered a cult and she had to wake him up). She considers her friendship with Eret to be . . . different from any of her other friends.

     "You have been pining for this girl for WEEKS — Don't deny it, everybody knows."

     Merida rolls her eyes.

     "AND THEN SHE ASKS YOU OUT HERSELF ON A DATE AND YOU SAID NO. WHY?"

     Merida pulls the phone away once more before deciding to put it on speaker instead and placing it beside her.

     "Did you not know she asked you out?! Were you sick?! Do you enjoy suffering?! Are you suddenly not gay anymore?!"

     He pauses, and the moment of silence surprises Merida slightly. "No," she replies, "to everything."

     "Then why did you say no to her?" He hmm's on the other line. "I know you like her, Mer."

     "I didn't — I don't do boys, Eret," she answers honestly, as a matter of fact. He knows this. "And anyway, even if I have to share, I don't want to share. And I messed it up already. She's probably comforted by being with Ice Lad right now at least."

     "Oh my gods, Ice Lad's flowers aren't supposed to be from her! I mean, they are from her but not that way. She doesn't even like him! It has something to do with her sister."

     What?

     That gets Merida out of the slump she's previously in. She sluggishly turns the speaker off, grabs the phone and presses it against her ear. After a doubtful pause, she narrows her eyes and asks, "What do you mean?"

     From the other line, Eret releases a sigh as deep as his pinterest boards, like he knows enough but can't afford to tell. (It's annoying.) "It's not my place to tell, but I promise, Mer, those flowers aren't because Elsa likes Ice Lad. It's because he and her sister aren't getting their shit together. And now, guess who's not getting their shit together."

     She's still somewhat lost. "Huh?"

     He sighs again. "Just — trust me on this, okay? I talked to her sister. Elsa doesn't like Ice Lad. I wouldn't lie to you on this. And yes, you did mess things up. But that doesn't mean you can't fix it right after."

     Today's one of those rare occasions where Eret's extra irritating, though it's because he's probably right. Merida hears the sincerity in his voice. "Oh."

     "Yeah. Oh."

     "I get it, you arse," she says, appreciating him completely for what he did but calling him an arse for being one. Sort of.

     She can hear his smugness all the way through her phone. "You know what you're gonna do? I already texted you her address."

     Merida sighs. "Yes. I'll go to her place and fix this." She pauses, remembering something. "And thank you, Eret."

     Eret replies, "You're welcome. Now, GO WOO HER, MER!"

     She pulls the phone away from her ear again.

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A/N: only eret would say words like "woo" in 2017. this was originally a voicemail, but i changed my mind. and also he was supposed to be the one to clear things up, but then...it's not his place to telll

ALSO AN ADDITIONAL NOTE THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE I'M SORRY OMG it'd b better if i updated this w the new cover tho but god knows how long that'll take. (it won't be in a while and i apologise so i'm warning u all now) (2 chaps to go btw)

(pls comment/vote i love em)