Angels and Death

chapter 5. THE HEALER.

CHAPTER 5. THE HEALER. ©    (songs to listen too, as I did while writing/editing this chapter: *West Coast, by Lana Del Rey *Born to die, by Lana Del Rey *On my mind by Ellie goulding *But I REALLY FEEL that Ride, by Lana Del Rey says everything in Samantha's mind, I've connected it this chapter above^^ if you'd like play that now.)

SAMANTHA.

There I sat, on my hospital bed stunned. What just happened? I stared at my doorway like it would give me the answers I so desperately needed-Why would Cas do this? Why did he leave?-but It didn't. Not a single answer was offered or given by that doorway I stared so relentlessly at. But there I sat, staring at that empty doorway, like a complete idiot. I felt hollow, like I had put all of me into those final two words to him... I couldn't really explain the feeling. Just...... hallow.

I wasn't really sure, what the exact cause was. I wasn't breathing erratically. My heart beat on, at a steady thump. I was completely motionless. I didn't even notice the nurse who had come into my room until she touched me, and asked "Honey what's the matter? Why are you crying?" Funny, I wasn't aware that I was crying...

I had no answer for her, so silent I stayed. When my eyes finally found her, she stood to my right with a worrisome expression littered on her face. Her dark blue eyes crinkled like an accordion at the corners. Her head cocked at a concerned angle, questioning.

Her hair-a frizzy brown and graying-was a combed out curls mess. And her Winnie The Pooh scrubs were a little too big on her petite frame.

I stared stupidly at her. But I wasn't using my eyes anymore. I saw nothing.

She finished her nurse duties, asked one more question that I never heard, then she left the room.

I don't remember how long I sat like that. I don't remember ever moving at all unless it was to the bathroom.

I never watched the TV again, I never spoke to the nurses, I just sat there.

 When it came time to eat, I nibbled at my food, never truly tasting it. I only knew I ate enough to get by. I wouldn't think about anything really and I wasn't complaining. There was just me, what was left. my body here on this hospital bed. The flavorless food placed in front of me three times a day. And the Charlie brown speech from passers by.

Nothing else.

There was something missing, gone....

Something was missing within me.

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The hours passed by. The hours turned to days. The days passed by. The days turned into weeks. Three weeks passed and then it was time for me to go home. "Hello Samantha, the day has finally arrived! Are you excited to go home?" Dr. Sitkotra said a little too chipper for my liking. Completely unnecessary, I thought.

I gave a curt nod, nothing else. Still he held tight to his dramatic antics. 'Bye, bye, miserability!' he mentally waved at me, I know this because I could see it in his eyes. Glad to be rid of the girl with issues, he seems. As I was wheeled out the main lobby into the chilly autumn air, tiffany pulled up to the curb.

She was here to pick me up and bring me home and she was going to stay with me, for a few days, until I could maneuver more effectively on my own.

"Hey girl! You ready?" Tiff said, after giving me a big, squeezing hug. I gave her more of a nod then Dr. Sitkotra ever got, as of late. I was helped into the front seat of her silver Chevy Malibu and buckled in for safety. Then she climbed in herself, started the car to life and floored it like sponge bob square pants.