Confession for a Confession

Jessica... Jessica?

"What?" I breathed.

All fantasies died down as I felt the aching in my heart.

Tyler sighed, "I know. But I'm going to be a dad Az. I'm gonna start my own family."

"You can't be serious." I managed to say even with the tightness in my throat.

But I've never seen Tyler look so resigned. Or joke with these kind of things.

"You - you're joking right?" A shaky laugh escaped from me. "Please tell me you're joking Ty. Please." I begged as my tears started to well up.

It can't be. Tyler is not starting a family right?

But he held both my shoulders and shook his head, "No, Az. I'm serious. I'm gonna have my own kid. I'll be starting my own family soon."

I started shaking my head but he continued, "This is what has been bugging me since yesterday. It's weird to know that I'm going to be a dad. That I'm going to have someone to look after. That I need to stop being a kid because I will soon be having one... This is just all new to me. I am so confused Az. What am I going to do?"

He'll be starting a family. So much for my daydreams.
A family... No more friday night hangouts or unplanned adventures. No more working to save money for that brand new bike but working to provide for the family.
Family.

He's starting a family. Another woman in his life, another important person in his life. Family. A new priority. No more sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet here because I can't sleep. No more calling him to instantly come to my place and buy me some sanitary pads when I run out of them. No more Audrey Zapphire Anderson or Az on the top list. It's going to be his family. His girl.

"What are we going to do?" I asked back. "Oh, Ty. What have you done?" I looked at him and saw how tired he was. And this time, I really did hug him. Tight. Not even bothering if it was comforting or choking but he hugged me back just as tight and in that moment, I knew that we both need it.

I peeled myself off him and asked, "Who's going to be the mother of your kid?"

He wiped away his tears that silently rolled down his cheek before saying, "Jessica. It's Jessica Artingson. We met yesterday when I came back from California and she dropped the bomb."

"No way." I backed away a few inches.

"She told me yesterday Az." He said, nodding his head as if remembering their encounter.

"Jessica... your first girlfriend? Jessica of 8th grade?" I asked him incredulously.

"Yes. The very one." he confirmed.

"How? Whatever happened to you was 4 years ago! Tyler, you can't just accept whatever that bitch is claiming you to be because it's been four freaking years!" I exclaimed but he just shook his head.

"You mean, she has a four-year-old child?" I asked.

"No. God, no. I'd be horrible if that's the case. But no, she's still pregnant." he replied.

"It doesn't make sense. You dated four years ago and now, she gets herself pregnant and has you responsible for it?" I scoffed. "What a bitch."

"No, no. You have it all wrong." he shook his head, "- We met at one of the clubs during the spring break. Remember when we had a brawl because you won't believe me that Adam was cheating on you?" I nodded, recalling the evening.

"She - she came to me and asked me what was wrong and I just poured myself out to her and the next thing I know, I was kissing her and her body was on me and we were in a room I'm not familiar with." Tyler explained.

"It was just a one night stand but it was an unprotected one though." He paused and shook his head as if trying to clear his mind. "The point is, Jessica is pregnant and I'm the dad of that infant she's bearing."

"Well she could've had an intercourse with another man and have you responsible for it. I mean, it's been four years right? For all we know, she could've turned out to be a bitch." I shrugged.

"Of course not! She's not that kind of person. I know her." Tyler fixed his firm eyes on me. "And I know that you never liked her but don't call her a bitch. She's going to be the mother of my child." he snapped.

Ouch. I feel like I've been hit pretty good in the stomach. He's defending her - because she's the mother of the child she claims to be his. But how am I to believe that? What Tyler said wasn't a lie. I never did like her. Although I might have contributed to why they got together in the first place. I was the one who pushed Tyler to ask her out, the one who wrote the letters for him because he has a bad handwriting and the one who helped him buy all that he intended to give her. It was me. And yet, when they did start going out, I can't help but feel jealous of the time Tyler is spending with her or the effort he exerted just to make her smile, wishing they were for me. Wishing I was her.

And that was when I realized that damn, I'm in love with my bestfriend.