A mask to the world

I watch the windows slide close one by one, on their own. Everyone else looks as confused as I do, wondering why we're here, more importantly where we are. I watched my family die. I watched them be taken away by large armed men whose faces I'll never see, even if I wanted to. Everything hurts all the time no matter what I do. I am always exhausted, running from one place to another fleeing, avoiding my inevitable fate. I watch the doors open silently, large armed men like the ones that took my family away enter the room, they raise their weapons and open fire as people start screaming. I know what I must do, I lie on the floor and pretend to be dead as they leave the room. After I know they've all gone I get up and run to another door at the back of the room, I break the small keypad next to the door and it slides open. Great security you guys, really top notch. I run down the hall not caring about the loud slapping of my bare feet against the flat metal floor. The floor is cold, each step sends icicles up my leg. I open my mouth to breath and smell and I realise it smells like a doctor's office, almost artificially clean. I know I must find a guard, must find a disguise, must escape, must get home. So much I must do and so few ideas of how to do it. I slow down as I hear the sound of thick, black boots stepping softly. I quickly glance around the corner and see a guard with his back to me. I slowly, silently walk up behind him put him in a headlock. "Tell me how to get out of here." He says nothing, the headlock tightens "I said tell me how to get out of here." I feel anger move through every part of my body, mixing that with fear and adrenaline can make for a deadly chemical soup. "Please don't hurt me! I have a child at home, please I'm all she has. Take my armor and gun just please don't hurt me!" At the mention of his child my grip on his head loosens. I remember I'm not the only one with problems, remember what it felt like to lose my parents, my brother. I decide this little girl shouldn't be condemned to this lonely hell I'm living. I thank him, take his armor and weapon that feels too heavy for my weak hands, and move on with my face covered. I masquerade through the halls as someone I'm not. I talk to other guards, give them false reports on prisoner numbers I don't know. I feel wrong, I feel guilty, like I should take off this masque and tell them who I am, tell them I should be dead. I don't have anything left so, why did I avoid the gunfire? I tell myself I don't know, tell myself to move on, tell myself to go home. Do I have a home? I tell myself I do. I find the hangar, get in a ship, and fly away. As I go to my destination I see the windows slide close one by one, on my own. I get off the bus and walk into the school and slip on my mask of smiles. Time to repeat.