Abuse

What Did it Have to be Him?

This story is dedicated as a personification to all of my ex's that have done me wrong. The pain you caused me has been my muse to create something from the darkness you left me in. I hope you enjoy being personified as the antagonist.

What did I tell you about flirting with other guys? I told you 'if I ever catch you doing it again then I'll kill you'. What do you even see in that four-eyed freak anyway?" Shane demanded to know as his booming voice echoed throughout the dining room.

I replied calmly in an attempt to defuse the situation, "First off, Simon is my younger brother. Second, even if he wasn't my brother I wouldn't go out with him. We're like polar opposites and I love you Shane."

Shane wasn't convinced by my words, and I wasn't sure if I believed that I still loved him anymore after all that he's put me through. His whole demeanor has changed over the past few months since he started drinking more heavily. Since then, he's progressively gotten more hostile both verbally and physical toward me. The last two years we've been together he treated me like a king; but now, he second guessed my fidelity and treats me like a lower life form all the time. He goes through my phone, limits the amount of time I can spend with my friends and family, makes every decision for me when I'm capable of doing so and worst of all, he's become what he promised me he would never become. He's become an abusive alcoholic and a monster fueled by jealousy, hatred and cheap whiskey.

I will admit that sometimes it's my fault for rubbing him the wrong way, but usually it's not my fault. He'll explode over the most insignificant things like me forgetting to make coffee in the morning after working a graveyard shift on top of my reflate shift or making it too strong for his liking because I need the extra caffeine to function properly. I fear to think how he might react if I actually cheated on him. I fear that it would be enough to push him over the edge and there would be no trying to reason with him no matter what I would say.

Clenching his fists and gritting his teeth; he continued, "Don't you dare talk back to me! I will not pay for you to live here and let you talk down to me like I'm some damn child! I'm so sick of your condescending attitude and your superiority complex."

As he took a step in my direction, I stumbled backwards. My back was against the wall. I gave him a pleading look to stop with this nonsense, but he wasn't able to comprehend anything other than his blind rage. Shane did something that I never would have expected in a million years, yet has happened more often than it ever should have. It still surprises me every time it happens to me. He punched me in the face. I feel onto the cold wood floor and looked at my attacker with tears filling my pleading eyes and blood slowly trickling out of my mouth onto the hard floor into a small puddle beneath me. The look of pure hate in his eyes made me fearful for my life.

He didn't say a single word to me. Shane pointed one finger at the door. I knew what he wanted and left him in what was our once happy home. I ran into the street and didn't stop until I reached Simon's apartment about seven blocks away. It's been about five months since I've seen him. On rare occasions like tonight when I try to text him is usually the only time I get to have any contact with him. Maybe there's a slight chance that he'll let me stay with him for a few days while Shane cools off.

I knocked on the door and Simon answered it half dressed and half asleep. I pushed him out of my way as I found a place to hide. The light from the living room slowly peeked through the opening at the bottom of the door frame. It slowly crept open and Simon found me amidst the coats and hats. I didn't want him to see me in this kind of state. After all, the eldest brother is supposed to be strong for his younger siblings. That's something I've never been good at. My brothers deserve better than me and we all know it.