The Girl Who Jumped
Soft tears create cool snail trails of sadness across her face that split her natural beauty into a million fragments of sorrow. All she sees through me is not the wonder and beauty that she posses, but the deep dark shadows that drag her ugly brown eyes down, the roles of fat that frame her stomach, the way her legs jiggle and wobble when she walks, and the scars that are craters of misery that lay rigid and angry on her pale skin. The beautiful creature that once danced and sang in my reflection, the bright eyes that danced all by themselves, and the cheerful wide gapped smile that made time slow down and the birds sing. That innocent and wonderful creature gone, eroded by time and the endless hardships and hatred of life. Her greasy blonde hair hangs in her face and her eyes sparkle with the endless tears that rip through them, splitting them into tiny isolated pieces that long for closure. At the beginning, those eyes called out for comfort but soon they realised that no comfort could be afforded in this harsh world, not even denial could buy that. Now her heart calls out, it cannot continue any longer, it beats are strained and choked by the sea of tears that are drowning it. She sits there so still, so still she could have been set in rock. Her heart is in pieces, only a fraction of her true self remains and it will not remain for much longer. Her small delicate fingers grip a tiny blade to her aching chest and her sobs rack through her body. Such a tiny blade, so innocent but responsible for so much damage, damage that cannot be sealed with plasters or stitches, one that scars the heart and leaves it falling apart, never to be fixed. She glances up at me but only sees herself. Blinking her eyes rapidly, her croaky, cracked voice struggles out of her small tight lips, strangled by her tears "Goodbye me" Her body shakes and trembles but her eyes reveal a new determination that clouds who she really is. Her body shudders and quakes but she pushes herself up and stumbles out of the room in the home where she never truly belonged. An empty and lonely room stares me in the face, teddys and long forgotten dolls stare with blank soulless eyes at their own reflections, none of them realising that they would soon be alone forever and that yet another precious soul was soon to be lost to the terrible world ruled by the anger and hatred of humans.
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A fragile young girl shakily climbs the blood red steps that lead to the roof of the bright white flats with their friendly neighbours and lovely families. Her stick legs trip and stumble over the steps, her vision clouded by hate and suffering, and endless tears that erode her soft cheeks.
The wind whips through her blonde hair and stings her face but she doesn't feel a thing. Her legs tremble slightly as she gradually makes her way to the edge. One glance down and she makes a final choice. Life, or death? Slowly she backs away from the edge and back towards the enclosed rooms and safe spaces. Her heavy breathing rasps in her chest and her legs and arms pump a final rhythm of her heart. Her legs push the world away and her body spirals through the air, the last fraction of broken heart leaving her body as she hits the hard concrete floor ten stories below.
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A cold, sad room screams out for the owner it lost so soon and I scream too, my wails unheard as the brown eyes, blond hair and tight lips have fled me. The reflection that stared at me everyday now gone, and lost to the unknown. The sad shredded eyes, lonely broken heart and soft beautiful soul fled forever. My heart droops and a great sadness threatens to drown me but outside my rectangular shape still holds and I still am and always will be the mirror that killed the beautiful girl. The mirror that failed to show beauty and happiness, the mirror that only showed ugliness and a broken world. How I wish to be freed from this endless cycle of broken hearts and torn eyes. I cannot chose what people see in me but I will always regret the girl that saw the worst in me, the worst of the world and the worst of herself. My soul will never be freed, it can never roam the world but it can never leave like the girl who jumped. The girl that I killed. I am sorry. It is my fault. But I cannot stop. I am stuck like this till the bitter end. Please forgive me beautiful girl. I am sorry. I am sorry that you jumped. I am sorry.
