The Sad Truth

Chrissy didn't know how to tell Lucas what happened last night, she didn't know how she was going to tell the love of her life that she was unfaithful. She didn't know how to break the heart of her first and only true love, she doesn't think she can do it.

Chrissy still can't believe what she did. She is so disgusted with herself and she wishes she could go back in time and change it all. She wishes that she never picked up the phone when her best friend called and told her about the party of "the century". She wishes she would've just fell asleep on the phone with Lucas instead of telling her best friend that they couldn't miss this party and that she would be ready in ten minutes.

She wishes that she would have never took so many shots that she could barely walk. She wishes that her best friend would have listened to her when she told her she was ready to leave and that she needed her to take her home because she was too intoxicated to drive, damn it, why didn't her best friend listen? Isn't that what best friends are supposed to do? Listen to you and be there for you in your time of need? Why didn't she take me home? Why didn't she hear my screams? Why didn't she stop this stranger I had never met from taking her clearly intoxicated friend upstairs away from the "noise" and where no one could hear us. Why didn't she save me?

Why did no one hear my screams as I lay on the bed of some girl I barely even know lifeless and broken? Why did not one person come to my rescue? Once he was finished he thanked me for a "good time" and walked out the door like what just happened between us was a mutual and loving thing. I was left to clean myself up and hail down a cab to get back home.

Lucas I am so sorry I wasn't strong enough for you, I am so sorry I was unfaithful. I tried so hard to fight him off. I begged and pleaded and asked for help but no one came, not even my best friend. I hope you can forgive me for everything that has happened. I hope you can forgive me for writing you this letter instead of telling you goodbye in person but I can't go on. I feel damaged, I feel unclean. No matter how many showers I take and no matter how many times I try to scrub away his touch, the memories of that night are still there. The memories are there as if they have never left. My dear Lucas this is the sad and disturbing truth, and that is why I could no longer go on. You will always be one and only true love and I hope one day you can forgive me. I hope that one day we will meet again.