(DISCONTINUED) Just Worries

Chapter 1

Natsu's POV (Night)

I lay in bed, my jaw exhausted from all of the fake, yet extremely realistic, smiles. My eyes faded from the fake, always exited glimmer, to my real eyes. Dull, and plain. Depressed. I sigh, glancing at the white bandages around my arms. When I first started wearing them to the guild to cover up my cuts, people were suspicious. But I played pretend, and told them it just looked cool. Typical 'Natsu', dense, and always happy. Ever since Igneel went missing, I've been sharper. I've had more anxiety, I've started thinking horribly of myself. I hadn't cut in a long while, and Happy was with Wendy and Carla on a job for a week.

Even Happy doesn't want to hang out with you. What if he chooses to be Wendy's exceed instead? What if he suddenly hates you? Or what if he already hates you, and that's why he's spending so much more time with Wendy and Carla.

I shook my head, getting rid of the distasteful thoughts. I tried not to be depressed, I tried not to have so much anxiety. But that only makes things worse. So I learned to just... Roll with it. Maybe, one of these days, I'll be happy again. Maybe.

I sighed and hulled myself out of bed, and dragged myself to the bathroom. I took off the bandages, where thousands of thin scars rested. The tingling pain of the newest cuts began to awaken, and the razor blade I held in my hands was hungry to rip apart some skin, and I would feed it's desires. I would give it a buffet.

I scratched, pulled, and ripped the skin of my left arm, everywhere around it, until my arm was a bloody mess. I had been feeling a lot more down lately, and so they weren't just thin cuts anymore. I sighed and ran cold water over it, ICY cold water, not warm water, which would sooth the pain, icy cold water, which made it worse. But I didn't feel it. I didn't really feel anything nowadays, even with my guild and nakama.

I washed myself up and put on new bandages, and threw the old ones out, and dragged myself back into my room, and laid on my bed, and drifted to sleep. Another day, another act.

~The Next Day, At the Guild~

I sighed and put on my mask, kicking the guild doors open, yelling "Ohayo!".

"Ohayo, Natsu!" The guild responded. I wasn't hungry, and I didn't want to eat, but I ordered a steak from Mirajane anyway. After I chowed it down, Gray walked over and tried to pick a fight. I was so tired though, so I said one thing that made the guild freeze.

"Nah, not feeling like it.." I blinked and smiled, sweat dripping down my face.

"Uh, I-I'm just tired, y'know? Didn't sleep well last night." I said, scratching the back of my head. The guild nodded, and Gray squinted his eyes at me, then began dragging me out of the guild.

"I'll take you home then. Get some sleep." He said. I 'pouted' and nodded, letting him drag me to my house. Once we were inside, he threw me on the bed and looked at me seriously.

"Natsu, why was there a spec of blood on your bandages?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. My 'smile' faltered, and I looked at him nervously. I must have missed a spot from cleaning my cuts up.

"Just, some bad scratch I got from a mission..." I said, Hoping he wouldn't untie the bandages. He growled and tsked, then yanked my arm towards him and reached  for the bandages, wanting to unravel them. My eyes widened and I pulled my arm away at the last second, and yelled,

"NO!" I held onto my arms and growled at Gray.

"Just go back to the guild." I said angrily. He narrowed his eyes at me and stared for about a minute, then sighed and walked outside of the house. My eyes dulled and I let my face hang lazily. I led down on my bed and let my eyes droop, and fell asleep.

I just hope Gray doesn't tell the guild.

Gray's POV

I held onto my head, sitting at a table in the guild, wondering what that was all about. He REALLY didn't want me to see what was under those bandages. To be honest, I'm really concerned about him. He wouldn't shout 'No', he'd just pout and whine. Maybe it's a bleeding tattoo? Or maybe it's really just a scratch. Or... maybe it's- No, Natsu's too happy-go-lucky to cut himself. He probably doesn't even know what depression is.

"Gray-sama~ What are you thinking about?" The stalker asked. I honestly DIDN'T like Juvia. Just as nakama, not any more, maybe a sister. I sighed and turned to Juvia.

"Natsu. There was a spec of blood, I think, on Natsu's bandages. And when I tried to unravel them, he like, screamed no and told me to get out. It's just not like him." I said. Everyone's eyes were on me, widened. Aaand, they eavesdropped.

I shook my head and stood up, grabbing a mission paper.

It's probably nothing... But I can't help but worry.