Different

Prologue- To Move

A/N: BEFORE YOU READ: Sorry, just a quick little strike at helping you understand the different fonts and speech marks.

'...' these usually signify thought, usually Lizzy's thoughts but this may change in later chapters

"..." This is normal speech.

ThIS WrITinG signifies the voice inside Lizzy's head. I'm not quite ready to reveal to much about this yet.

Italics will simply represent a flashback or a section of writing featured in the past.

Sorry for unloading so much on you already. I really hope you enjoy the read! 

Lizzy was plain, or at least she perceived herself to be. She was an average upper school women, soon to be 18. To describe herself she would carry simple adjectives in her description, what with conforming to the brunette tribe in her hair color while her eyes couldn't decide whether they wanted to be blue or green. In terms of her physical appearance, she would choose the shape of a sphere since she was more rounded in her center than the average individual. Holding a few friends, she held no real degree of popularity and no interesting talents that deviated from the social norm. Grades and work came easily to Elizabeth, having grown up with encouraging parents that thought success in life is achieved through a healthy education one involving prime grades and severe work ethic. Is THIs wHat thEy thINk She'S liKe? ArE YOu LiKe thIS, DO YoU LooK LiKe THIS tO EVeRYoNE ELsE?! HAHAHAHAHAHA~ ThEy ThinK sHe'S NORMAL HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

One unique, or more obtuse, characteristic held by Elizabeth was the ability to overthink and spiral into hard degrees of depressing thoughts. While on the outside she would appear simply struggling for words, within she would often find herself in a disarray of emotions not obtaining a straightforward route when her mind had conjured up so many possibilities of failure. This is perhaps what held her back. Forgetting about thinking would help until she came to a quiet moment in which her mind could allow an adverse thought to fester. DO YoU ReaLlY eVEn knOW WhAT yOU'rE taLkInG ABouT, ARe thEY fiNDiNg iT InTeResTInG? wHAt iF ThEY'rE LooKIng DOwN oN YoU? ThEy PRoBAbLy dON't WaNT tO tALK To YoU. yoU'Re BoThERiNG ThEm. Which is where a conversation would come to a point that it stopped flowing and she would begin to panic, feeling the need to carry on without the ability to move forward. It was as if she had fallen from a cliff and was climbing armless incapable of reaching the point where she had been before. Speechless. Unable to think of what to say.

For a start it was with people she had just met, strangers you might call them. This was understandable what with not knowing the person and therefore not comprehending their interests so forming a conversation in your mind would prove more difficult. However this cursed lapse in thoughts seemed to spread, making its way into the exchanges with friends. She'd find it hard to carry on a conversation, she'd think of all the questions she could ask and then forget. FOrgET FoRGeT foRGeT~ The junctures of silence would spread and an atmosphere of awkwardness would set in. It becomes frightening when it begins to effect the way in which you converse with your parents. You feel obligated to speak yet are unable to think of what to say, whether what you think would be too forward, could perhaps offend the individuals before you, if it would sound too awkward. Your mind is conjuring up bricks to place in between you and your ability to speak while your speech becomes blank and you feel alienated from everyone within your reach. Exchanges no longer feel natural, more synthetic, conjured up from a "How to have a conversation" book. Lizzy could look at someone she's known for her entire life and not find a single word she could say to them, and this terrified her.

The supposed speech impediment wasn't constant, it would rear it head when convenient, when silent. She struggled through this though determined for it not to get the best of her so it wouldn't control her life. She never told anyone about it, not wanting them to worry, not wanting them to treat her differently. And it was with this that she started feeling loneliness begin to seep into her. She could be surrounded by people, friends, and yet not feel as if she was there. She was a spectator, though involved she forever felt out of action. I suppose this was what lead to a type of anguish taking a hold of her. She wasn't happy anymore. Conversations where exhausting and excitement seemed to be too far from her grasp.

When you feel detached from positive emotions, when you have to fake being happy you become dejected. You feel like there's something wrong with you but can't speak to others for risk of them worrying, or judging. So it's up to you to fix yourself. To find an answer to your broken equation and numb what sorrowful emotions you have with good ones, the ones that reach your heart and head. The ones that make you quiver with adrenaline. The ones that make your cheeks lift and cause the corner of your eyes to crinkle. The ones that help you live.

She wasn't going to struggle anymore because she was going to try harder. It may exhaust her but she needed to fix herself, to find the spark of life that had left her. She didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted to live, to feel, to show emotions that were actually her own. This could turn a plain girl into something more colorful, more enriched. She could be different from what she once was. She didn't have to think, she just had to move.

So finding herself in a rather shady neighborhood, outside a quaint little Chinese takeaway, Lizzy would begin to move.

To Live.

She's going to fix herself.

BuT yOU CAn'T geT RId oF Me ~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA