Levi and Evelyn

With one look I knew. I knew that something was different, wrong. I had grown up with this boy. Fallen in mud puddles and laughed as we rolled down hills. We had gone trick-or-treating together and had spent nearly every summer in the pool or at the lake, together. We had watched countless you-tube videos, laughing until our stomachs ached. I teased him about crushes as he threatened to hurt any boys who I got involved with. We had progressed from children to teens and now seniors in high school together. He knew me better than I knew myself, with important and insignificant things. From knowing just how to keep me from flying off the handle to knowing if I scored better than him on a math test simply by how I responded. I loved this boy more than I would admit to him and although he constantly joked about being nothing more than my acquaintance, I knew by the little things that he loved me just as much. He was the person I trusted most in my life and something was terribly wrong with him. I could tell the moment I saw his face after he opened the door for me. It was a Friday night, and I had arrived at his house to watch movies, our weekly ritual since god-knows-when. It was supposed to be a normal night, but the lack of his normal "welcoming" remarks told me that this was going to be something out of the ordinary for us. He lacked the sarcastic wit which always surrounded him and made me roll my eyes what seemed like every ten seconds. He lacked a presence which I had only seen him lack twice-once when his grandmother passed away, and once when he had to put his beloved dog down. Aside from that, no heartbreak nor anything could remove his careless, sarcastic, and joyful attitude. Immediately, my heart started racing. I imagined every worst scenario I could possibly conjure up thanks to my worrisome mind. 

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Please tell me what's going on?" I bombard him with questions before I even move into the doorway.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I just didn't get much sleep last night and I'm pretty exhausted from school today. What movies do you wanna watch tonight?"

"Levi Jordan Pierce, don't pull this shit with me. How stupid do you think I am? I know you better than anyone else and I will be damned if I can't tell when something is up with you. Don't bullshit me, it doesn't work. What the hell is going on?" I don't even bother to add my usual dose of sarcasm, I'm too worried by this point.

Typically, when something is bothering him, he is pretty straight forward with it. If he's pissed at me, it's beyond easy to tell, and for practically every other common annoyance I know his reactions. But this is something different. Never has he ever waved off his problems as a lack of sleep, so this new excuse is fueling the concern burning through my body. 

"Evelyn Michelle Davis-Peter, nothing is going on. Calm yourself down and sit your ass on the couch so we can get started!" He nearly laughs out at me, but I swear I can hear his voice shaking. 

Another red flag. Ever since the 9th grade, Levi has referred to be as Evan, because it bothered me, naturally. At first I wanted to punch him every time he said it, but the name has grown on me and it has become just another thing that only Levi and I share. He only refers to me by my full name when he is royally pissed off, or when he is imitating me. But again, his tone is so different from the normal that the knot forming in my stomach tightens. 

I make my way into his house and set my bag down on the entryway bench, keeping my eyes glued to him the whole time. He notices, but doesn't acknowledge my behavior seeing as he is used to me being worried and even slightly paranoid. 

I cautiously walk over to his couch, setting myself down gently. The more I study him, the more worried I become. He looks sick.. Not "I need chicken soup and cough drops, fast!" sick, but droopy-eyed, pale faced sick. It's barely noticeable, I'm not sure his parents would even notice, but this is Levi we're talking about and since I'm Evelyn, I notice things he doesn't' even notice himself. The longer I look into his usually-sparkling eyes, the more convinced I am that he's far from being fine. 

"Evan, what the hell? You're staring at me as if I'm Adam Levine or something!!" Adam Levine is my all-time, most-loved singer and whom I believe to be the most attractive man ever to grace the earth. So naturally, if I met him, I would probably stare at him until my eyes failed to see.

"You're scaring me, Levi. I'm worried. Please tell me what's going on!"

"Evan, when are you not worried?" He tries to seem upbeat, but it's not quite right. He's trying to hard to be his normal self.

"I'm always worried about something, Levi.  And half of the time it's you. But I've never been worried like this! I"m begging you, just tell me what's wrong! Levi, I need to know."

"Maybe later, Evan." Despite his efforts to sound normal, there is a strong underlying current of fear and even sadness coursing through his voice.

Levi is never scared. Not in the 17 years that I've known him has he ever shown one ounce of fear. Sure, he screams during scary movies, but despite some of the truly horrible experiences he has encountered, I've never heard him even speak of being scared. So why does he sound so frightened now? The worry and fear for him coils tightly around my heart, leaving me breathless and close to tears.

"O-okay, Levi. I love you. You know that right?" I tend to say his name more often when I'm very nervous or very scared. It's one habit that he doesn't make fun of me for, but it is sign that always lets him know when it's time to be serious and help me to calm down. Thankfully, he knows exactly how to help me breathe again after any breath-taking experience. This being one of them. 

"Of course I know, Evan. And you should know that I love you more. Now, comedy or action?"

"Comedy." I respond shakily, becoming more worked up each moment. I think an action movie would send me flying off the edge.

"Sounds great! You put in the movie, I'll go make some pop-corn. Alright?"

I can't help but stare after him as he walks into the kitchen. Maybe it's just my frightened mind playing tricks on me, but I swear that the energy in his gait is gone. I close my eyes to collect myself. Maybe I'm being ridiculous. Maybe he really is just tired and I've just been reading too far into everything. Maybe everything will be great. Maybe. Maybe.