Like Driving Toward the Morning Sun || Frerard (COMPLETED)

Chapter 18- where is my mind?

ITS BEEN LIKE SEVEN YEARS I AM SORRY ALSO I AM ENDING IT IN THIS CHAPTER SO YEAH ENJOY THAT
- NewTraditions

Home smelt different.

I'd adjusted to the sickly hospital smell of the suicide camp, so the unclean, musky smell of home was weird but comforting.

Mom gave me a smile that looked more threatening than kindly and fucked up my hair by running her hand through it.

Dad looked on, and I wasn't sure if he was happy or mad.

My parents made me sit at the dining table to eat with them and made polite (but slightly forced) conversation about stuff that didn't matter and stuff that turned into white noise until there was a mention of the meteor.

My ears pricked up.

Mom poked at her cheesecake as she spoke, "... and obviously it'd be awful if it hit anywhere, but it could at least fall into the sea."

My dad rolled his eyes, speaking with his mouth full, "they think it's gonna hit Russia, so we'll be fine."

"Yes, but that's still awful."

Another eye roll from my dad, "it's not us. So we'll be fine."

"But people will die. It's nasty... And not nice to talk about at the table." Mom said firmly, giving me a small, almost apologetic, smile. It made me feel like her guest, like an intruder.

I kept my mouth shut, not finishing the food because cheesecake tastes like chunky vomit.

I put my plate away, then disappeared into my bedroom, texting Gerard, asking how he was. Generic stuff. The longest three and a half minutes of my life passed, then finally- finally- he texted back.

'You're back?!'

I smiled a bit at the reply and just texted back a 'yeah, wanna come over?' To which I received a very quick yes.

Twenty seven minutes later and Gerard was in my room. We sat together, cross legged on the floor, in comfortable silence. I had my head resting on his shoulder, just happy to be with him again. Happy to still be alive.

"So.." he said eventually, breaking the quiet, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." I said softly, "I was always okay. Not much has changed except I wasted so much fucking time.."

"It's got a lot closer."

"I guessed it would... How much longer do you think we have?"

"I don't think it'll hit us." He stated confidently, looking at me as I moved away from him, laughing.

"Oh really? I'm sorry- you're so wrong. Everyone thinks it's headed for Russia."

Gerard rolled his eyes, "whatever. I don't think I am. It won't hit us. You're wrong."

"Shut up."

And he did.

---

Time seemed to move too slowly. It was almost as if the world was waiting to die. Stores stopped stocking their shelves in case of the meteor hitting them, so food began to run low. The whole earth had seemed to be put on stand by, and everyone suffered from it. The only food available after a while was tinned- it could hang around for a while and was cheap to stock, so stores wouldn't be losing too much money. Not that money mattered anymore, anyway. Crime was on the increase as people stopped caring. Barely anyone worked. Everyone wanted to make the most of being alive, so instead prioritised seeing family and friends over going to work and earning money.

I saw Gerard a bit, but not enough. I wish I'd seen more of him in the last days, then maybe I'd have done more about my ever growing feelings for him.

But I never did.

We were together in the end, though. He was wrong. The meteor did hit earth, and turned out to be the first of many. A shower that ended up setting the world on fire.

The first hit Russia, as predicted. It wiped out everyone and everything for miles around. Then, various parts of Europe were destroyed.

My area survived for a while. Long enough to count down our days alive, to complete bucket list things, to say goodbye to old friends and distant family members. I saw Gerard every day, and he'd hug me tightly every time and give me soft kisses as he promised me that he'd be there with me when it happened, and that he'd protect me and we'd be together even after death.

It made me cry, but it comforted me at the same time. I wanted to be with him forever. I know that it was really just a dumb teenage thing, but it was real. And I needed something real. Real feelings for a real person who made me genuinely happy. He made me calm, even if I still had the occasional mental breakdown.

---

"Frank? Wake up. It's happening."

I woke to a stuffy room and my mom shaking my awake, all teary eyed.

"This is the end, Frankie." She said softly, gathering me in her arms like I was still a baby.

"What about Gee?" I asked, still too sleepy to really register what was happening.

I'm glad it was like that. I didn't want a panicked death.

"Gerard is with his family."

"But he's meant to be here. With me."

She shook her head numbly and just held me closer. I felt her hand run through my hair, and if I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine that it was Gerard holding me like we'd planned.

There was a crash outside. It was deafeningly loud and the whole room lit up as if it were suddenly the middle of the day. I looked up at Mom, who was in tears, and she held me closer, whispering to me that she loved me, her breathing shaky and her heartbeat fast.

I'm going to die without him.

I sobbed into her chest like a baby. He was the only thing on my mind as the crashes got louder and the light got brighter and it became much more difficult to breathe. It was as if the air had turned to dust, all dry and thick and suffocating.

I'm going to die without him.

Then the coughing started and the air turned grey and misty. It felt like my lungs were about to explode and my head started spinning. My body wanted to shut down and my eyelids got heavy.

I'm going to die without him.

Heavier and heavier until I couldn't keep them open any longer. After that, it felt like falling, or drifting on an ocean. It was more peaceful than I'd expected and, somehow, I wasn't scared anymore. It didn't matter that I died without Gerard. Nothing mattered anymore.

---

The End woo

I don't even know what this fic was. Sorry it's kinda disjointed.

Umm maybe I'll write more stuff in the future if you give me FEEDBACK PLEASEEEE

Thanks for reading this bullshit

~NewTraditions