Afterlife

Chapter one: - Days of Awe -

SHOOTING STARS WITHIN STARS reminded me of the old saying " Without darkness, we'd never get to witness the beauty of light ". I washed away all these conscious thoughts at that moment as my poisonous lover had already provided me with so much anarchy in this damned soul of mine, so I played down this messed up body on that hard ground just waiting for the next day to rewind it all again. As time had slipped from my fingers I indeed I allowed this body to sleep but still, this troubled soul is sleepless as I'm thinking not knowing what exactly as I have thought of a million things every single night just to keep myself away from that abstraction they call death.

Waking down on the chaos sound drifting away from this mind as the sun had already shined burning these demons down, I woke up from such a deadly coma. Barely moving as I made my way inside the house, washed this filthy face off, to fade such ugly details. As I looked up the mirror, I saw nothing but a completely empty space with not a single proof of life. Well, I'm kind of used to it so I headed to the kitchen and started the coffee machine and it was like tones in my ears, likely the one thing I enjoy listening to. That flashlight of my burning ashes as I lightened a morning cigarette to soothe this troubled head with that music in it. As I finished my coffee and went to the bedroom to change my outfit as nothing will ever change because this soulless body will remain undead for a long time, again I look into that mirror to see the same damned picture of a man that had done so much grief and harm to others, even himself.

That same fearful moment of the outside as I made of this cabin a refuge, so I went to the garage and mountain my vehicle as I started the engine and headed to the countryside. They were also the same scenes of that young lady taking her baby to school when he was crying as if he knew that this life is not so pretty to be lived, the same voices of hers yelling at him. Those three friends wearing steel necklaces and nothing but black and gray like they also knew that, that is the suitable color for such a sad gloomy day, at least I can see love in their eyes as they held hands from time to time to remind each other of unity. But that one guy, that one lonely guy wearing a suit to suit his damaged heart as he discovered the secrets of life, after knowing for sure that no one can be trusted as he has been broken hearted for years. At least that is what I can see in all these people, sadness in everyone's heart.

So I reached my second refuge and the exact same fearful moment of the light as I stepped out of the car to witness such dying land with nothing around it but dying plants and dying houses, dying life but still I had such beautiful moments back on my youth in this place. I got my rifle out and so does these cold bears as I was addicted to such poison, planted ten buckets far away from my vintage point and spread them away from each other.

Music is on, it was a playlist containing these old American native songs, the kind that has no words in it but just instruments of that classic civilization that has been extinguished out of fear as they were and still are honorable men and women. My compassion for such historical people is unlimited and their music makes me feel that they indeed remain, I raised the volume of these instruments. I have loaded my gun with these bullets that I hoped they were made of a cure to such satanic soul I have beneath this mask of emptiness, so I shot these buckets as that sound of that bullet crashing inside made me feel so free and had provided me with the joy I need daily.

My one hundred's birthday is just one day to go, I have never been so afraid of such events that this one, terrifies me. I have this phobia of birthdays since my first year in this cursed world, after a year of my trip into such beautiful lie, I can remember it very clearly how I spent it all alone when my parents had a fight so my mom left to whatever and my dad, as usual, to the bar. The second birthday and the third... Every single one of these birthdays was either spent alone and lonely or I'm getting my butt kicked from my dad for silly attitudes. Until I met her.