The Seventh

Chapter 14

It was the summer of 1997. They were on tour for their new album, all of them tired and exhausted but also happy. At the bus on their way to the next venue, everyone was doing their own thing and Ollie and Schneider were playing with Emma. 

"I think it's time I start teaching you drums, what do you say rainbow?" Schneider asked her while she was tugging at Olli's beard. 

"I get to Bang Bang? like you do?" She yelled happily and made drumming moves with her arms, hitting Ollie in the process. "Hey hey...don't kill ME yet, I wanna teach you bass," Ollie said holding her at arm's length mid-air. she started cycling her legs while giggling. "Yeeea I wanna Bang Bang, also I wanna learn bass but bang bang first Ollie, pleeeas" 

"Ok whatever you want little monkey, just stop kicking" He laughed and handed her to Schneider adding "here, take your pupil Schnei. she can bang bang you while I go pee pee"  

"but not now Uncle Schnei, I'm tired now" She stood between the drummer's legs and yawned.

"Of course not now rainbow, we'll wait till the tour finishes, what do you say?" He pushed curls of black hair of her face and smiled. 

"Uhumm..." She was practically falling asleep right there.  

Richard was watching her the whole time from his place on the couch. He knew it was her last word before drifting off so he said "Emma baby why don't you come here lay in my lap and sleep, hmm?" 

Without a word she left Schneider's embrace and went over to the couch, Richard helped her lay her head in his lap and started fondling with her hair. She fell asleep within minutes. 

"You look contagiously happy when you're holding her, It's cute to watch" Schneider's comment caught Richard off guard, the drummer furrowed with a smile and added "Richard Kruspe are you blushing at my words?"

"Shut up Schneider" He said quietly but wasn't able to hide his smile.

"Yes Sir" He said and stood up then winked at Richard before going towards the mini fridge to get some beer, "you want one, blushy blusherson?" he said waving his bear at Richard with a grin.

"You're not gonna let it go, are you?" The guitarist said and shook his head at the bottle of beer.

"Gotta hold on to ONE sign coming from you, don't I?" Schneider gripped couple seconds longer to the bottle which now they both were holding on to and he didn't let go till Richard looked up at him, Richard swallowed hard at the look in his eyes. "Thank you, Schnei" He said quietly. "Always, Reesh"  something told Richard they weren't talking about the bear anymore. Schneider went into his bunk with a book and drew the curtain.

"What do you staring at?" Till just walked into the middle area of the bus and snatched Richard's forgotten beer off his grip.
"huh?" The guitarist said while staring into space and fondling the kid's hair in his lap absent mindedly. "nothing, slept well?" 
Till shrugged and kneeled by the couch and softly kissed his daughter's face couple times and smiled at her and kissed her again.
"hey stop kissing her, you'll wake her up" Richard hissed.
"look at her, I could just kiss her and eat her up all day. How did I make something so beautiful?" he kissed her again and the baby smiled softly in her sleep and her eyelids moved a bit, her long eyelashes were shadowing on her chubby cheeks. Till grazed her little hand with one finger and suddenly she grabbed his finger and squeezed. She had that habit since she was born, gripping her father's finger would calm her so much. Richard's stomach stirred in discomfort at Tills words. He bit back his bitter words and stayed quiet. He couldn't help but smile at the little girl's peaceful state. He knew that eventually he needed to talk to his friend.
"So... Schneider still into you?" Till caught Richard of guard again.
"I... no, he just teases, it's nothing... I... " he trailed of at Tills 'don't bullshit me'  look.
"I know him, he's not the teasing kind and you know that damn well, fuck's wrong with you?" 

"I'm a fucked up mess, Till. you of all people know that. I can't be with him. He's my friend and my colleague. I'll fuck it up and lose a friend in the process, also it'll mess with our career as well."

"I can see your mouth moving, but all hear is blah blah crap" Till rolled his eyes at him.

"oh fuck of Lindemann and stop talking, you're gonna wake her up and she'll be all grumpy"

"but she gets all cuddly when she's grumpy. can I just-"

"NO... you can't wake her up" he hissed at Till again but shook his head with a smile.

"OK mum... jeeez" Till stood up and ruffled Richard's hair. "I like it when you get all protective of her, you're practically a mama bear"

"Shut the fuck up" Richard whisper and swatted his hand but couldn't help but laugh.

But Till was right, he was very protective of his little cub, he knew how much Till loved and cared for Emma, more than anything in the world really. He would give everything up for her and he was and amazing father but Richard still couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, he didn't feel like he was entitled to Emma, like he didn't deserve her. Then again he never saw himself worthy of anything, unlike the cocky  'King of the world' mask which he always wore. He tried to think of a way to tell Till about everything. The second he'd thought about how he should start that conversation, his brain would go blank and out of words. He scolded himself mentally and with a deep sight leaned his head back into the couch.