꒰ ETERNAL ꒱ - JOOKYUN ˎˊ˗

💫 || nine.

EDITED - 24 JUN 2020

--

i love you.

changkyun's last words.

they were still echoing in jooheon's ears days after he died.

he couldn't sleep at night, thinking about how the angel died in his arms. he couldn't forgive himself.

he wanted to drown his sadness in alcohol yet he didn't do that because him drinking was one of the reasons changkyun died. so he was going to suffer without trying to numb the pain. he was going to fully embrace the guilt even if it was a little bit too late for him to take care of his drinking problem for someone else's sake.

he found himself much more emotional with the lack of alcohol. crying every time he thought of changkyun was exhausting. feelings were exhausting and he didn't know how to deal with them in a proper way.

emotions were the main thing that he had always tried to avoid. then there he was now.

he was taking care of the plants at his window, thinking about how changkyun was the one in charge of that. and probably many other things. just then jooheon realized how busy changkyun was - taking care of the plants, him and himself all the time, trying to keep all three alive, trying to keep the house clean and presentable enough.

now jooheon had to take care of the plants and himself and literally everything else all alone, wishing that he was given a second chance so he could take care of changkyun, too.

one flower had bloomed and jooheon was looking at it with a sad smile.

"changkyun would be so proud," he said out loud as if anyone could hear him.

days were just passing and he wasn't doing anything but stay at home. he was searching up some things on the internet about guardian angels. there wasn't much. of course there wouldn't be.

but there was this one site that was tempting him. it was just screaming at him to open it. yet jooheon thought that it was a waste of time.

"how to revive your angel"

changkyun said that there was no way to bring guardian angels back to life. or...

"he never actually said that, right..."

yeah. he never said it. he just apologized.

but did that mean there was something that could be done and changkyun was just staying quiet about it?

after an hour or two jooheon finally convinced himself to check the site out and what it was all about. he scrolled past most of it, not putting much effort into actually reading it. the moment he read something about "deal with the devil" he quickly called it bullshit and closed the page.

he went to his bedroom and took changkyun's phone from the nightstand. he had never even thought of peeking into the angel's personal things but now he had to. he had to know if changkyun communicated with anyone else and if that person could tell him anything about reviving an angel.

the first thing he did was check his messages. empty. call log - nothing but his own name. finally, he checked the angel's contacts list. there was another name besides his own and it surprised him.

whoever that was, jooheon didn't know if he could talk to them. or if they were alive. this could've been another angel or the human changkyun took care of before. or even someone who had changed their phone number long ago.

jooheon let out a loud groan. he felt frustrated and sad.

"changkyun, i miss you so much," he cried out, covering his eyes with his hands. "i wish you can at least hear me and give me a sign."