Still Breathing (Green Day fanfic)

Chapter 4

It was Friday night and Billie was at the studio with his band mates recording their new album. Billie was quiet as always. He didn't say much. He was concentrated on playing some chords in his guitar. As he played memories of his father came to him. He remembered the first time he and his father performed together. He remembered when he sang his first song. He remembered how when his father was sick and in the hospital, Billie would sing for him. Billie remembered when the family was at Alan's football game. He remembered how his father was cheering his older brother on. He remembered how his father went to go see his three sisters perform their dance recital. He remembered when his father got really excited when David was elected as class president, Billie's father was very proud.

Billie, why can't you just kill yourself already. If you miss your dad so much why don't you just take the pills?

I promised dad I would continue playing.

You shouldn't keep promises that you can't keep, Billie Joe. You know that your father would be upset if you didn't come home with him.

What about my friends?

Your friends don't care about you Billie. They don't care if your depressed. They don't care how you feel. They don't care if you die.

Stop.

Billie, you're so useless.

No I'm not.

Why are you still alive? Why don't you just quite your worthless life? No one loves you. Not even your fans care if you die. Your mother won't care if you die. She thinks your a burden.

Leave me alone!

You know I won't leave you alone. I'm the only thing I have faggot! So go kill you-

"Billie?" A voice said. Billie snapped out of his trans and he looked up at his band mates and manager.

"You sorta blanked out" Mike said. Billie began to blush due to embarrassment.

"I'm sorry" Billie said. He sighed and sat down on his chair. There was an awkward silence between them and no one said a word. Billie just looked down at his guitar trying to fight his tears. He was filled with agony and he wanted to give up. He just wanted to break down and end everything. He wanted to tell his friends what he was feeling.

"So, the album will be coming out in September 20th" Pat said. Billie shot his eyes up and looked at him. September 10th was his father's death, just a week later the album will come out. Billie wanted to tell Pat to change the date but the band hasn't released an album in almost two years.

"Are gonna have any upcoming tours?" Tre asked. Pat nodded his head.

"Yeah. Actually, I'm glad you brought that up" Pat started. "So you guys have the whole July and August to go around Europe and parts of the US. You guys will be back before school starts"

There was a quiet moment there. Mike and Tre looked at each other and then back at Pat. The boys did it. They actually dropped out of high school. Mike and Tre dropped out a two weeks before school was over for the summer. Billie still stayed in school. He has his gpa at a 0.7 and he barely passed his junior year. Billie has thought about dropping out on his birthday or maybe three weeks into his senior year. He wasn't sure yet.

"What?" Pat said. He was really confused in what Mikw and Tre were doing. It took Pat a few minutes to realize that Mike and Tre dropped out of school.

"Oh my god. You guys did it. You guys dropped out" Pat said. Mike and Tre nodded their heads as if they were proud that they dropped out.

"How about you Billie? Did you dropped out?" Pat asked. Billie looked at them and shook his head.

"No. Maybe after my birthday" Billie said. "I probably won't graduate anyway"

That's right Billie. You won't graduate because your stupid. You're worthless to this world.

I'm not worthless.

Yes you are. You're a loser. You're a freak. You're a faggot. You are worthless.

"Could we get back to practice?" Billie said.

"Yeah sure. Okay guys from the top" Pat said. So Mike, Tre, and Billie got to their spots and started practice the new album. Billie opened his mouth and started singing his pain away. This was the first time in seven years he had felt free from pain and suffering. The lyrics of his mouth set him free from his thoughts.

By the time it was around midnight, practice was over. Billie walked home through the dark streets and he knew that when he gets home, his mom is going to yell at him.

The seventeen year old made it home and found his mother sitting in the living room with her arms crossed. She looks very angry. Billie closed the door and walked in the living room. He sat in the couch in front of her and he didn't say a word. "Billie Joe Armstrong, do you know what time it is?" His mother said. 

Billie nodded his head. "I'm sorry" was all Billie said.

"Billie, you can't keep doing this! You're getting home late, you currently attend class almost every two days of the week! You get into fights! Your grades are showing me that you won't graduate!" His mother yelled. Billie stood up and rolled his eyes. He didn't care right now. All he cared was getting to his room and going back to his miserable life again.

"Billie! Tomorrow morning we're going to your school to talk to your principal!" His mother yelled as he made it inside his room and locked the door. Billie slid down the door and brought his knees up to his chest. Billie closed his eyes and fell asleep.