When the Stars Aline (Larry Stylinson AU)

Staying Positive

It's the sunday after Harry and I decided to try going to the next level and we have organized a date. Even though he knows some information about me that even my brother and life long best friend do not, we don't know a lot about each other when it comes down to it. We want to get to know each other.

I told Lottie about Harry and I. She is absolutely thrilled, laughing because she predicated me and him becoming us. I was going to have to look good for a first date, and I had no such idea how to do this.

I peak out of my door way and turn towards Lottie's room.

"Lottie," I whisper.

"Yes," she responds.

"Come."

She groans and starts walking over to my room.

"What do you want?" she asks.

"I'm going on a date with Harry today. Will you help me get ready?" I ask.

Lottie smiles. "You called the right girl," she says.

Lottie picks out blue button up shirt and black pants for me to wear. She makes me put them on and brings me to the bathroom to comb my hair. She gels it up into a quiff, which I haven't worn for a while now but others say I look exquisite with it.

"There, now you look perfect," she says, handing me a mirror. I can beg to differ about that, but at least I look the slightest bit desirable.

"Thanks Lottie, it really does mean a lot," I say.

"No problem, call me whenever you need me, I'll always be there," she says, patting my back and returning to her room.

I walk out of the house and start on my way to the park where Harry wants to meet. So, this is it. My first date, my first chance to try and be happy. They say true love and being with your soulmate is what brings happiness, but what if I can't be with him, well not completely? Then what does that make me? What does that make us?

The walk is quite relaxing, its a beautiful day out and the people of the community seem generally happy. Birds are chirping about and children are running within the streets. It's what you can call a beautiful September day, I wish I was beautiful.

Once I get to the park I begin my search for Harry, and find him waiting patiently at a tree in a far corner. He smiles at my arrival.

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late I was getting ready," I say.

"It's totally okay. Come sit with me, I made a picnic for us," he says, gesturing for me to sit beside him on the sheet he had laid out.

I open the basket and eat some chips, also opening a juice can.

"Would you like a sandwich?" he offers.

"It's okay, I'm allergic to bread," I say.

"Aw that sucks, I'm sorry if I knew I would of brought something else," he says.

"No it's okay, I'm not very hungry anyways," I lie.

"I know how you feel, I have asthma so I can't participate in things a lot of the time," he sighs.

"That sucks, me and Niall do a lot of running so you would have a hard time with us," I laugh. He laughs along.

"You should meet Niall, he's a cool guy and he's been my best friend since second grade so we do practically everything together," I say.

"Does he know you're gay?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Nobody but you and my sister, Lottie," I say.

"Don't you have a brother too, the quarterback of the football team?" he asks.

"Yeah, that's Liam. I can't lie I envy him sometimes but I still love him to bits and I look up to him," I say.

"I wish I had a brother," he says.

"I have both a brother and a sister so its kind of the best of both worlds," I say.

"In my family its just me, my mom and Gemma. My dad passed away last year, and that's why we moved. Mom wanted us to get a fresh start," he explains.

"You've had a lot of lost in your life, haven't you?" I ask.

He nods sadly.

"It's okay, I've lost people too, well not physically but mentally, the few people that I even have," I sigh.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"For the first ten years of my life everything was practically perfect, we were comfortable with money, we were happy, we loved each other. I played soccer and Liam was in junior football, so we had a bit of friendly competition, but I always knew they loved him more," I say, reminiscing the good times of my childhood.

"So what happened?" he asks.

"Everything sorta struck at once. When I was ten my grandfather passed, and he was very close to all of us, especially me. We were also expecting a new sister but Mom had a miscarriage and didn't have the desire to try again. Dad lost his job and we lost a lot of money and luxuries. In order to temporarily forget about their pain, my parents got into drinking. It resulted differently for both of them. Mom started forgetting about everything and everyone, she just lost all of her priorities. She didn't care what happened and didn't even acknowledge our existence. We didn't have a mother anymore. Dad turned into an evil tyrant who we all feared. He cussed and screamed and broke beer bottles against the wall, maybe representing breaking our happiness. He took out things especially on me. He started hitting me, and hitting turned to beating, once even hard enough to break my arm. He still does this to me, and only Lottie knows. Please don't tell anybody. I began to hate myself and wanted to die, he made me feel worthless and I lost most of my desire to live. That's when I started cutting and got suicidal thoughts. I tried overdosing on pills last spring but I lived through it. Even though we were very young when all of this occurred, we all had to grow up and learn how to raise ourselves," I say, finding myself tearing up at my own story, horrible memories flashing through my mind.

We are silent for a minute, trying to digest everything I just said. I had now let out all of my secrets to Harry.

"Oh my god, Louis, I am so sorry. What you had to go through and what you still do is so much worse than what I have. I am so so sorry," he says.

"It's not your fault," I say, repeating his words from yesterday.

"So he still beats you?" he asks.

I respond by wiping off a bit of makeup, revealing a black eye and dry blood spots from my 'punishment' yesterday because of the day I went to Harry's. Of course, I won't tell him this.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me close to him, so tight I can barely breath. We stay a couple minutes like that, him in sympathy for my pathetic life and me trying to let out all of the feelings that I've been burying inside for so long. We finally let go.

"You can't let him keep doing this to you, you need to tell someone," Harry says.

"I can't, he'll hurt me even more and hurt whoever got help for me, which is what I'm most scared of. I don't let Lottie do anything about it because I don't want him to hurt her, and I'm not going to let you do anything either," I say.

"But you can't just live like this," he says.

"I have for the past six almost seven years, I can do it again," I say.

"On the bright side I haven't cut since the day you were with me in the bathroom, I have been feeling positive and hopeful about the future," I say.

"Really? That's great, so have I," he says.

"I'm kind of afraid to be happy, because everytime I do everything comes crashing down and I feel worse than ever before," I say.

"I know how you feel. Don't worry Louis, I won't let anyone take your happiness. I won't let anybody hurt you. I can shelter you," he says.

I don't know why, and I'm probably a fool for doing so, but I actually believe him. I believe that things can get better, me and Harry can be happy together. I have to stay positive, and I can get through this. I will get through this.