Living or Dead?

It was a cold brisk morning. It was how I like my mornings to be even though most people hate the cold, but the thing I didn't like about was that there were people running about breaking into houses and biting the home owners throats out. Other than that it was a pretty nice day. Other people would be panicking, but I was ok considering that I was always prepared for a zombie attack. It was worth it even though the neighbors always looked at me funny when I was putting metal bars on my windows r when I ordered a box of grenades form Ebay and yes they have those. Well, look at me now. I was sound asleep in my bed all peaceful until my alarm woke me up. It was a stupid alarm that my mother got me when I moved out. I set the alarm one night and it wouldn't stop. But today it saved my life.

As soon as I woke up I heard the pounding on my front door. When I got up I put my pants and shirt on and grabbed the gun under my bed (and if you are wondering I'm not insane just a little crazy so don't judge) and went down stairs to get rid of (kill) the threat. Then I thought for a moment if I opened the door I will get bitten and I will have to put a bullet into my own brain. So I went up to my homemade balcony to see whats down there and seen that there was a crowd of people and it wasn't the kind you jump into at a rock concert. There were about six zombies at my door and thought well can't throw a grenade or it will blast my door down. So I went with the only rational answer, I went back into my house and grabbed a machete, then went back to the balcony and jumped off.

I landed machete first and by that I mean I landed on a zombie and shoved the machete into its head. Then in a spilt second I got up and sliced the head into another. After that the zombies began to realize that I'm behind them. Before they turned around I sliced the head off of another and I think it was my neighbor, well that's what you get for putting your leaves on my lawn. Then I licked one to the ground that was fully turned around, After that in a full swing I sliced both the heads of the zombies. Once the zombie on the ground started to get up I slammed the butt of my machete onto its head and the skull cracked open and trust me it wasn't a pretty site, but to be safe I shoved the blade into its head for the finisher. The first words that came to my mouth was "LIKE A BOSS". After I got myself together and regained my breath I climbed the ladder to my balcony and went back int my house.

I then went to my bathroom and washed my machete in my sink with some water and a towel.  I then thought "this is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. My parents, my friends, my girlfriends, everyone I have ever known has thought I was crazy. Well look at them and look at me. I'm alive and more than likely  there're dead or half dead. After I was done with washing the machete I put on a cabinet and then washed my hands. Once all the blood was gone form my hands I went back to the balcony to examine my new world. Multiple houses on fire, gunshots in the distance, and the ambulance sirens going off near here. I couldn't help but smile. To other people this new world is a living nightmare, but to me it is a paradise.