꒰ ETERNAL ꒱ - JOOKYUN ˎˊ˗

💫 || thirteen.

EDITED - 20 OCT 2021

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i want him back but i don't want him to start hating me.

jooheon had never felt more pushed into a corner than he currently did.

hoseok was staying over at jooheon's house so the latter wasn't too fond of the idea to let too many emotions out of himself so he had to suck it up for as long as he had to. he actually knew that he couldn't suppress his emotions in a moment like that but he wanted to at least make an effort to do it to not feel like a bigger of an embarrassment than he already did.

he was spending a lot of time thinking that he reached a point where he didn't even hear when hoseok was talking to him.

"jooheon," hoseok tried bringing his attention to himself when he had noticed he had zoned out once again.

jooheon was just staring at his own hands, completely unresponsive and lost in his own thoughts as if he had suddenly shut down entirely.

"jooheon!" hoseok raised his voice and tapped his shoulder.

the younger got startled. he looked up with a really dumbfounded expression. he spent so long worrying about his behavior in hoseok's presence that he forgot that the other was actually still there. "what?" he grumbled under his nose quietly, moving away from hoseok a little. he felt so uncomfortable and like he was being closely studied under a microscope.

"did you hear anything of what i told you?" hoseok raised an eyebrow, looking genuinely concerned for jooheon. the other only shook his head. hoseok shook his head lightly with a sigh. "i've been talking for more than ten minutes..."

"i'm really sorry, i'm so out of it right now i can't even begin to explain it to you," jooheon murmured. he brought his hands to his face, covering it with them. he let out a frustrated sigh.

he jumped up a bit as he felt a hand resting carefully on his shoulder. it was hoseok's way of telling him that it was okay, that he wasn't mad at him. he understood him so well and stayed close to him. jooheon eventually relaxed under the dark haired boy's touch.

"please, just tell me how to bring him back," the blond cried out, apparently not able to keep calm about anything anymore. he was barely even trying at this point even though he wasted so much time on worrying exactly about that. "even if he ends up hating me, i just want him to be around, i want to be aware of his presence not just hope that he's somewhere there."

"i will help you," hoseok responded without even giving it a second thought. he wrapped his arm around jooheon's shoulders, letting him rest his head against his chest. "i'll do everything possible to bring him back."

jooheon struggled a bit at first but hoseok did all of that by instinct and soon enough the younger felt at least a bit more comfortable with him. after all, hoseok was born to protect people and make them feel better by offering comfort just as he was doing right now and jooheon felt safe no matter how much he was trying to deny it.

even though he wasn't an angel anymore and couldn't do as much as he did before that didn't mean that he didn't keep his habits with himself. he actually really held onto them in order to not lose himself.

"but i have to warn you about absolutely everything that's going to happen," hoseok spoke again. "because once you've started this you can't back out at any point. you could die, he could die again not long after he's been revived, everything could happen and you have to be prepared. all of this is devil's work you never know what you can expect."

it scared jooheon so much, just thinking about changkyun dying again. but it wasn't like he could lie to himself that everything must go well and that he didn't want a second chance in being with changkyun again. he had to be realistic and accept the facts. he just nodded his head for hoseok to keep talking.

"after an angel is revived as a human they don't have a guardian angel of their own. they have a "guardian" demon." hoseok was speaking slowly, hoping that jooheon understood completely everything he was saying and taking into account how serious all of this was. "the demon chooses their human, not the other way around. it can't happen randomly either like it happens with guardian angels. anyways, once you've gotten yourself into that, you have to make a deal with a demon - you lose something in order for your angel to live. it's something small most times but it also depends on how your angel died... and the fact that you killed him won't help you at all with how easy they'd go on you."

"wait, i read something about deals with demons," jooheon looked up at hoseok as he recalled. "but i didn't believe it."

"apparently, it's time to believe."