A/N: this is um gonna be crappy but I’m in a lovely mood so here’s some gayness.
Well, I couldn’t do it anymore. I sighed, not sure what love was really if what I just had wasn’t it. I was going to miss him, of course I was. But I didn’t need love, didn’t need his love. That word makes me cringe. Ya know the one. Love. Love love love love, it’s an awful ploy. Don’t ya think, making people believe it exists throughout everything you’ll see in life. But it’s one big story, there is no such thing as love. And I know it for a fact. If there was such a thing, he would’ve flinched when I cried, he would’ve seen me walking, stumbling actually, away and he would’ve said I’m sorry. He would’ve said he was sorry it ended like that, would’ve been a gentleman in our final moments. But he didn’t, he fucked up everything and didn’t even stop to think of the destruction. He was ruining me. But I loved it. There it is again. Love. That stupid misconception. A trap I willingly fell Into. I was lead to my doom without realising it. I can’t fake this. Fake that I can still be near him, cause frankly he’s not the Ryan I fell in love with, and not the Ryan I could be friends. Hopefully the guys will understand my absence, but in the end, it’s for the best. It’s for everyone’s well being, because I can’t deal with this plot tomorrow, or ever. Because who the hell would want to play a gig with their now ex on valentines day? Not me, and honestly, I don’t want to do anything. And the only reason is that I Brendon Urie fell in love with Ryan Ross and I can’t get out.
originally written in November 2013
