Although it is mid-January, the sun was shining, always very warm with a slight breeze and I had a little wet sprinklers in the neighborhood as usual.
Thinking I was perfectly fine, I had no idea what I was going to do.
The first time you see in nearly a year, many have changed (or I thought).
I was seeing someone new, but I really wanted a better version of you.
His hands were not like yours, however, being much rough around his knots and his grip, his grip was wrong.
So I'm standing in front of you, looking at your beautiful blue eyes thinking me: Will he really do it? Will it be true this time? Or will he get angry with me and blame me as before? Does he even admit what he has done? .
"You've changed," he tells me, looking up and down.
At this moment I wanted to tell him how right he was, how much I had changed and how much better I was without him, but in reality I had not changed for the better and I had not walked.
All I could muster was "thank you".
We were there to exchange looks for the next ten minutes, without a word.
Absolute silence.
"So you're going to say it, that's what I came here for everything, what you wanted here for"
.......
"I'm sorry," he said trembling as if he was afraid of himself, afraid of what he had done and what he had to come.
"Sorry, sorry", what are you sorry for exactly? What did you do, I would like to know or do not you remember? Shall I remind you? "
"I am sorry".
"Sorry for all the times, you told me you loved me when you never did it?" Sorry for the moment you scared my friends from me For spreading rumors about me, Make me feel less and less as the days went by Me and transmitting myself to your friends to hit me and touch me wherever they want.What kind of boyfriend does he do? 'Could have continued, but it's true when the tears hit.
He was the first boy to see me cry, but this time I had to step back and hide myself in shame.
"You're right, I'm sorry."
He just repeated to me that it was real, but every time the words seemed to disappear more and more and the truth ... was not what I wanted and it really had not changed.
Insignificant assumptions stopped from his lips as I stood there, wondering what I really thought to happen.
So many times he apologized, I knew that it would not resume the punch nor the taste of our first kiss.
Or the time I took with his blood not knowing that one day he would draw mine.
All the lies, all the thrusts and the oscillations to which the excuses could only be ...
But I took it again, like that.
And I fell and I fell and I left.
Just like before and I knew I would do it even more easily, maybe even more easily.
Why did I ask?
Listen to the sound of his voice.
The touch of his hands and the dazzling in his eyes,
The way he danced his fingers or the way he embraced me or his position.
All I wanted was to fall in love with a handsome boy, now I know why they tell you to pay attention to what you want.
-h
