NoName

Introduction

Ten years ago I asked someone special to describe out loud what love meant to her. She came up with a beautiful definition for this mysterious word. As she would elaborate on the subject, only one name would be crossing her mind: Jeremiah. 

Aren't you eager to know what this young lady claimed love was? Well according to her love was a strong feeling inside her sole. A feeling that is almost impossible to recognize at first.

"It appears to us as a an agglutination of thousands and one emotions getting all mixed up. It can go from pain to joy followed by jealousy then gratitude and it ends up with anger and shame."

This innocent creature was convinced that true love could not be cherished by only one of them. In other words, if you were truly in love with someone, the person necessarily loved you in return.

She told me she was in love with Jeremiah. However he wasn't aware that she was the woman of his life yet, neither did he know that she was already falling for him. People around her, including herself, had convinced her that the reason why he did not realize it yet was because she was not good enough to be wanted by someone worthwhile. In order to be noticed by her soul mate, Allison did everything in her power to become the most perfect girl a guy could ever wish for.

If she thought he needed something she would find a way to get it for him. She was terrified just to think he could be mad at her, therefore she would always be nice and do anything for him. In a way, she was lucky that the guy who blindly stole her heart was actually really nice because he never asked her anything else than friendship. 

He was a popular guy, she was not. He was tall, handsome, easygoing and very attractive. As for her, she was tall, kind of awkward, beautiful in her own way but did not believe in herself at all. He had over a million girls hoping they would become his girlfriend and she had no one valuable but him. Not even two months passed and he was already her best friend, her confident and the person she loved the most on earth.

The problem with this is that I was supposed to be the one getting all the treatment he was getting. She owed me this. I needed her love and her attention but she refused to give it to me. I was supposed to come first but she neglected me for a man that is now a stranger to her. They say that love is an unfair game, yet she broke the rules in the hope of winning his love. However, breaking the rules lead to her loss because she thought she was smart but he was two steps ahead of her.

My name is Allison, and the biggest mistake I ever made was to love him more than I loved myself. To treat him as my priority when I was only an option for him. I need to respect and cherish myself before I can consider letting anyone in. I know this now, but I didn't then.