Dear someone special,
Whoever you are,I know you know I'm reffering to you :) Do you still remember the times when you're still madly deeply inlove with me too?The days when everyday is valentines day for us.The days when you still care..The days when the feeling is still mutual...And the days when you're still the guy I loved for so long until now.All I'm trying to say is I miss the old us,I miss the old you. :(
Hey remember the first time I met you,when I smiled at you and you thought it was the cutest thing ever?My smile that caught your eyes and the smile that made you like me.I still remember how hard it is for you to say how you feel about me.When you're giving me a lot of hints but I still pretend I'm not getting what you were tryin' to say.LOL sorry for that.I was just afraid I'd fall for you too.I was afraid that our friendship would end because of awkwardness.
At first,you're just like any other guy in school.You were just a normal person who I have to deal with everyday.But I was wrong.Day by day,from the first time you chatted me ''hi'',I get closer and closer to you.We laugh,talk,laugh,talk all day long 'til midnight.Our conversations were never boring.With every conversations with you,I had an opportunity to know about you,your family,your life,even your exes,and your pastlife which you said you don't want to get back anymore.
Remember the first time I put my trust on you?Yes maybe not my whole trust but still,I believed that you're a good guy and if I'll be with you,I'll be safe.I know you hated it whenever I confess my doubts on you,on us.
Although you tease me sometimes,I still miss those moments ♥ because O know that your attention is on me even if you're actually teasing me about my flaws ♥ .But I did believe that you still loved me inspite of all my imperfections.That's why I learned to love you,you accept me for who I am . :)
I started to realize that I do really love you.From that time,I was afraid to lose you.I was afraid you're gonna find someone prettier,nicer,someone who can make you happier.SOMEONE WHO'S BETTER ME.
One morning,I said I wanted to talk to you.We met at the park.We talked for a little while and then I said the magic word "YES'' .After a long time of courting me,I've finally said yes.Silly me.haha.Your reaction was like you've won a grammy award.I couldn't explain how happy you look that time.
After being with you for a very long time,one day you're suddenly gone.You said you need space.You said there's a lot going through your mind that's been bothering you.But one day,I saw you with another girl.On that very moment,I felt very weak,very hopeless,I felt like I've been punched on the face..a hundred times..no wrong..I guess a million times :( .I could'nt move nor talk.After a few minutes,I thought I had all the strenght to face and confront you.I came closer to where you were with your new girl.You seemed so happy with her.You were holding her hands.And the way you look at her is the same way you looked at me when we're still together.JEALOUSY is the exact feeling I felt that time.I don't know why I didn't get angry.Maybe because I love you so much.
I FELT LIKE A JERK because after all I've seen,I still care for you,I still LOVE YOU.Right on that time,I decided to walk away because I realized that I can't ...I don't have enough strength to face the reality...The reality that you've found someone new..and that you're not mine anymore..It's hard to see the one you love with someone else...And the hardest part is you were with the girl you said you've already move on to.The girl you loved before you were mine.The girl I was so jealous of even when we were already together back then.I felt like you lied to me..wait no ..yes YOU REALLY LIED TO ME.You just used me. :( .It felt like EVRYHTING WAS JUST A LIE.From the moment you said you like me until you said you love me.And the saddest part is I never had a clue that you were using me.But what I hate the most is after everything..the lies..the pain..I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU.I STILL LOVE YOU. :( WTF I hate this feeling. :(
I've swallowed my whole pride for you.The best thing about our relationship is that I've learned a lesson-""LEARN TO LET GO'' BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING,NOT EVERYONE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
How are you now?I miss you so much.I wonder if you feel the same way too.....You're my first love and you're the only one I love 'til the end.On my case,it's true..FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES.
