Never text and walk, it can only end badly.
One would think that walking through the aisles of target to get a jog bra and some chocolate would be an eAsy task. But of course no such luck with me.
I heard footsteps and front of me and looked up just in time to see a little girl stopped straight in front of me, being the graceful person I am I tried to stop myself which ended in me tripping over the very small child and face planting into a rack of bouncy balls and having all of them roll across the many aisles of the store.
The kid of course started crying so I crawled over to the kid who was now screaming for her mother at the top of her lungs and I tried to comfort her.
I was well aware that everyone had stopped what they were doing and had now directed their attention to me and the screaming child. Kids over react to pain, you just have to get them talking and they'll stop crying. I needed a distraction so I grabbed a ball that was rolling away and started bouncing it.
Soon the kid was laughing and bouncing the ball as well. Then the angry momma bear came over grabbed her kid and angrily stalked away. I didn't want to cuss in front of the kid so now I let all of those words fall out of my mouth.
"Jesus mother fucking Christ that hurt like hell, mother of Jesus cunt berries." I stopped myself from talking anymore when I saw a group of four drool worthy guys standing in front of me. In that moment I became aware of what I was wearing, old plaid booty pajama shorts, and a shirt 500 times too big with my hair in a top knot that couldn't look good no matter what.
"Can I help you?" I looked up at the group of guys and they started laughing. Soon after I was laughing to because I realized I had just tripped on someone's child and caused a ball stamped.
