Forever and Always - BoyxBoy -Complete-

54

Daniel

"Dan, I need to know the truth." Jake suddenly burst from his mouth. Truth be told, I wan't really hoping htat he'll show up at this time when I just want to talk to Zoey or rather, I wasn't very careful at all. I knew Jake would really insist on going with someone whenever it comes to me, well I can put it that way, assuming he still has those feelings from before. but nevertheless, he's still here now, waiting for me to answer his questions which are getting me caught off guard.

"I got nothing else to tell you Jake. End of discussion." Assuming if I walked out straight of this place he'd shrug it off but knowing how persistent he is, I doubt he'd simply back off. Still, I walked out but his hand was quicker on grabbing my arm. A sudden shoot of familiar feeling rushed through me. No, ignore it Daniel. It means nothing at all. It doesn't say how much you really love him, you love Kean now. Denial to the point where I almost drove my mind mad. "No, you got a lot of things to explain to me Daniel. Why, why lie to me, to all of us?"

"Because reasons... Now let go of my arm." I swung our arms, yanking it away from his tight grip yet he caught my other. "Seems you leave me no choice Jake." My free hand flew on his pretty boy face, sending him backwards and off he let goes of my hand. "Dan, you still haven't answered my question. Why not tell us about it? Why turn into this act and live like it was normal?"

"Because it IS normal, Jake. Every fucking thing has changed! Even you, your feelings have changed! I always knew your heart belong to somebody else, not me. That's the reason why you were always doing things to me, trying to hide your unsatisfied feelings, and put on your fake mask." My voice filled the whole house as if it was mine. Trying to prove my point, I raised my shirt and showed him all the scars that are still visible.

"Look, I did all of these to myself. I did them because I knew you don't really love me, at all. Your feelings towards me were unreal."

"Are you that blunt, Dan? Would I try to save your life if I didn't love you at all? Would I ask you to marry me if I didn't have such feelings towards you? Tell me then, am I the stubborn one or you are?" 

Now the room was full of tension all over the place. I can feel my body tremble as he raised his voice. I always get so weak when someone abruptly raises his voice on me. But I got to fight back or else I will do the same mistakes I've done. "You are the blunt one, Jake. You never thought of how I always feel when that thing between you and that bitch happened. I was a total wreck. I was totally miserable, had suicidal thoughts in my mind all the time. I don't care if you left me behind there and let me die. I wished you did that. I wished you left me there to rot."

"You know I wouldn't and that's all the reason why you were holding back. And yes Dan, I always had thought of how you felt after what Kim and I did that's why... that's why I did everything to make you happy, to make you feel so special and yet, I thought it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make up with all that I did." Tears rolled down his cheeks, his eyes reddened as it let all the tears drop. I've... I've never seen him this much broken before. 

"No, it's too pointless Jake. You can't change my mind now. You just can't." My last words before stepping out of the house.

I ran, ran as fast as I could, as far as I could, not minding what's left behind for me. I need to sort my feelings. I need to make up my mind. My heart, it still speaks of Jake yet my mind argues that Kean is the right one. I'm not ready yet, I'm just not.

I love you Jake.