it's infatuation

part2

"Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kada chana" a line from bhagvadgita (a holy book). It means "u hav every right to work hard but Do not think about result." If we think about the result whether we win or loose, we will not be able to keep focussing on things we supposed to do.

That is the first day of coaching. I hav to stay in hostel. That is my first time to stay away from home, family. I dont hav another choice. To gain some we need to sacrifice certain things. Initial days i used to cry alone. Even though my roommates are very friendly, still i miss my parents.

Gradually by 1 month i got accommodated to situation and started focussing on my goal.

Only thing that's in my mind through out the preparation is to achieve my goal. No matter what happens, i must not regret it. For that i need to give my full effort and i paid my maximum effort.

It doesn't mean i havn't enjoyed the preparation time. i just enjoyed each n every minute. There i met Virosha.

Virosha is a simple hardworking girl with similar frequency like mine. So we became best buddies. I love music and i like those who can sing. Virosha has sweet voice. I used to hear songs sung by her every night. It became a habit for both of us.

Once while chitchatting Virosha said to me" never ever fall in love. It will make u a loser. Its like defame to the family as it is not yet acceptable in our society."

By hearing those words, i thought who can fall in love with me. I'm not that good looking. So no one can try. And i too wont fell in love with anyone because i gave my word to my papa that i will go with arranged marriage only. Because he must not regret his decision of giving a chance to me. And i don't want to loose his confidence on me.

It is not that i am against love. Its just i'm not worthy to be loved or my fate isn't for love marriage. I do like love marriages but my aim is more important for me.

Time ran so fast that finally my exam is over and its the result time.
Im still in hostel. Heard that results are out. No one in hostel knows the result. Only top 10 ranks are revealed. Anxiety and tension overtaking me. I know i cant do anything right now. Either i can reach my goal or i have to quit studies completely. As i'm not worthy to study anymore. That is how i felt. In the afternoon I'm not even interested to eat lunch. I started to go to room directly. While i'm entering a lady caretaker came and said i got a call from home. I ran downstairs hearing that.
I reached the receptionist and asked her" umm.. hi mam, they said i got a call from home."
With smiling face she said"it got disconnected"
"ohh noo.. did they said anything??"i enquired
"Its about the result. They said u got 56th rank. Congratulations" the receptionist said with excitement.

The receptionist knows me well and she is so kind towards me because i cried on the day of joining.

Flashback

I joined the hostel. My mom, dad came to drop me there with my luggage. We went outside and just roaming around the city. And by evening we reached the hostel. As time is running my heart felt sad. But i dont want to cry. Because if i cry, then my papa will say'u cant even stay here how can u study.' So i dont want to make a scene there. And its almost dark outside when my mom and dad started to leave. My eyes are getting blurry. My mom said "just focus on ur goal, but dont neglect food. Take care of ur self. Dont cry. Just call us if u want to see us. " with that they stood up. The tears which i tried to control escaped. I sobbed. My mom who about to go stopped and hugged me. "Dont cry veda. If u cry like that, how can i be able to leave u here. Please dont cry". Still my tears didnt stop.
My papa who is watching said "if u cant stay, come home. We can go. Bt dont cry like that veda. "

The receptionist who is watching all of us came running. She asked us"is it ur first time to be in hostel?"
My mom responded" yes.. its her first time to stay away from us. I dont know whether she can be able to stay here or not. "
Receptionist said"Dont worry madam, we are here to take care of her. We will make her to feel comfortable here. "
The more im hearing the conversation, the more sobs came. With that my mom finally said" k. Enough.. no need to stay here. I cant go home leaving u like this. Just come back home. "
Receptionist said" noo. Dont say that. Everyone who comes for first time misses bt they will become normal in 2 days. I will take care of her. Dont worry"
Hearing my mom words alerted my mind. Nooo.. i mean i just cant.. i have to stay here for my dream. I just cant give up like that.. so i stopped sobbing.. even tears rolling down i said. "No ma. I can do it. I will make sure to be k. U people just start. I can stay here. Dont worry about me. Its already getting late. If i cant stay here i will tell u to take me. But let me try. So please u people start".
My mom nodded to me and turned to receptionist saying"please take care of her. She is too sensitive. So please make herself comfortable. Till then watch her.. please help her. "
Receptionist said" sure madam. We will ".
"Thank you" with that my mom and dad looked at me once again and left
Then receptionist came towards me and consoled me. Talked for few min then i left to my room.

Flash back ended

The smile and words from receptionist have to make me relax but i dont know i hav this gut feeling may be she might hav nt heard correctly. I dont think that i can get such a good rank. I mean i wrote well. Bt its too good rank which i havent expected. So i asked her if i can make a call to my parents to make sure that my rank is correct. She accepted and i called home. This time my father lifted my call and there is full happy and excitement in his voice'hello..,'
"Hello papa.. its me. Veda."
"Heyy veda.. congrats ra."
"Papa! I want to make sure whether that rank is mine r not."
Its my father who hav seen my rank. Bt still little fear. May be its a mistake of watching result.
"Hello beta, yess its ur rank only. 56th rank. "
Hearing that.. my body become light weight.. i felt like im flying in air.. im so happy.. i said thanks and kept the reciever down. Said thanks to receptionist and reached room.
Finally i made it.. thank u lord.. with out u i m nothing.. thank u so much.. my dream of becoming doctor is not too far.. im going to medical college of my choice.. woww.. thank u so much godd..
With heartful happiness i left hostel and reached home with all my luggage. Counselling is yet to happen.. waiting to enter my dream place. I.e medical college.

Sorry for late update.. Main Story is yet to start.. as usual sorry if any grammar issues.. thank u all who r reading my story.. feel free to give advice. Thank u. Love u all