i was never the person who believed in falling in love at such a young age.
we were 14 when we first met, filled with innocence and happiness.
you were that new kid everyone was talking about and i never had a reason to approach you.
but you came to me, you talked to me despite my awkward self.
you kept trying to find reasons to start a conversation, ignoring the cold shoulders that i constantly give.
you would always have girls flirting with you, but you chose me.
why did you choose me?
those innocent chats we would have every night grew into light jokes in the hallway. those bathroom breaks and locker meet ups have become something i look forward to every day.
what have you done?
i have always been the girl who would just admire her crush from a distance but you changed me.
the butterflies i get every time you talk to me.
the sorrow i felt whenever i realise i will never have you .
all these feelings that i kept denying and hiding just for the sake of not losing one of my best friend.
she liked you and so did i. she was popular and i was shy. she talked with you with confidence and all i did was look away.
but it all changed during our waterfall getaways, that day we kissed for the first time with the stars and the ocean as our witness. that night it was just you and i. nothing else but us. but that night was also the time i realised this wouldn't end well.
you knew i was leaving, you knew i wouldn't want a long distance relationship, you knew all these consequences yet you still dived in graciously.
why did you do it?
our relationship. like any other is not close to perfect.
the fights we had. the times i doubted your feelings, ignored you, cursed at you. Yet you stayed loving me. not even once did you stop pouring me with all the love your heart can handle.
i don't deserve you.
these are the words i tell you religiously and you hated it.
truthfully I'm scared. I'm scared of how much you have changed me. scared that you can make me miss you and yearn for you that easily.
most of all, I'm scared that one day you'll realise i'm not good enough.
how can you be so patient with me? how can you be so kind and disregard all my insecurities? how can you love me this much when i can't even love myself sometimes?
i may seem to depreciate your efforts but do know that you make me happy.
the little things you do for me, i love every single one of them.
the memories we shared from those road trips to dancing under the stars, i would never trade it for anything else.
our imperfections and differences is what brought us closer than ever before.
i will never forget you, not in 30 or 50 years. you'll always be someone special to me. someone who knows me inside out , someone who stayed by my side whenever i need support.
you make me believe in myself.
thank you for everything .
je t'aime ma chérie.
