A Cutter At Heart

Emma's POV:

I started cutting when my cousin tried raping me when I was 16 years old. I've have been cutting myself for 2 years now. I feel like the black sheep of the family. I feel unwanted all the time. I hurt so many people that are close to me. I dropped out of school. I disappoint so many people.

Amanda's POV:

I've tried helping her but it never seemed to work. She never let me get close to her because she thought she would hurt me. One day she cut herself so bad she almost bled to death. I watched as her blood dripped down her arm. I called 911 but no one ever came to help her try & save mh best friend. That day I had lost my best friend/sister to suicide. It was all my fault if only I could do something. I never knew what really made her want to commit suicide but then again I wasn't in her shoes.

Emma's POV:

There was so many reasons why I committed suicide. I lived with the pain of my past & I lived with my mom & dad getting divorced. I've been hurt many times. My sisters never wanted me around. I was the black sheep of the family. I've felt like this for awhile. I was being picked on in school for my weight & all my boyfriends cheated on me. I lived with all this pain with so many years. I honestly didn't think any good came out of my life. I was depressed all the time. People said I was just seeking attention but honestly I did it because I was sick of being used & hurt all the time. I only had 3 true friends but I was slowly loosing them one by one they walked out of my life. Many people said I was a slut because there was rumors going around saying I slept with this 37 year old for money. I honestly couldn't take anymore shit & the pain was really killing me. Yes, sometimes when I think about it I do miss my family & friends but I believe I did what's best for me.

Amanda's POV:

I really wish I could of helped Emma. She was really hurt that day she walked past me in school with head phones in & when she was crying. I should have stopped her & asked her what was wrong but I was to worried about what Brandon was doing flirting with that other girl. I've seen her crying before & never asked her what was wrong. She wouldn't of told me even if I asked her.

Stacy's POV:

I had been friends with Emma since we were 7 years old. Honestly the past 2 years now we grown apart ever since we got popular & she didn't. The "Cool Kids" started calling her a freak & a slut. So I went along with it even though it was wrong. I just wanted to fit in. Don't judge me! I wanted people to like me. So I put Emma's feelings aside & joined "my friends" in taunting her. I called her a slut, bitch, cunt, everything in the book. I even told her to go kill herself. I had no idea how much it had hurt her that we were friends for so long & I had betrayed her genuine friendship to have "fake ass friends" like I did. I can't believe I hurt her. I can't believe she had killed herself for what I said.

Amanda's POV:

Many people walked up to me in school & asked me if it was really true that Emma had killed herself. I nodded & walked away crying when I heard a girl say "I'm glad the slut killed herself we didn't need a attention seeking slut in our school." After I heard that I walked back to the girl & I had punched her in the face. Then I had gotten on top of the girl & started punching her over & over again. The girl kept yelling "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, SOMEONE GET THIS BITCH OFF OF ME!" I looked the girl in her eyes & told her to take everything back that she had said about my best friend/sister. Emma was everything to me & I was hurting. I was blaming myself for her death. When it was actually everyone that had been picking on her about everything. I sometimes go sit at her grave & cry.

Emma's POV:

I look down from heaven all the time to see what people actually go & visit me at my grave. One day I looked down & there was stacy she was actually sitting on the ground crying. I said to myself "Why is she crying, she cause most of this?!" This made me really mad. I wanted to go down there & smack her but then I listened to what she was saying.

Stacy's POV:

I went to visit Emma's grave today & I started crying & I felt like talking to her tombstone so I did. "Emma we have know each other since we were 7 years old & I'm very sorry for all those mean things I said to you. I honestly just wanted to fit in I didn't know it would hurt you that bad. I wish we had longer together but unfortunately we don't. I want you to come back & hang out like we use to in the younger years you, me & amanda. We both miss you so much. Amanda actually beat up Ashley today in school because Ashley said some awful things about you. I don't know if you can hear me but I really do miss you."  I felt like I was falling apart inside over & over again. I just wanted to know what all happened in those 2 years we grown apart.

Amanda's POV:

The next day, I didn't want to go to school cuz I know it wouldn't of been the same with out Emma there. We used to skip down the halls holding hands. I really miss those days. We used to make fun of all the preppy girls & their fake faces. I started crying I really missed Emma a lot. I wanted her back with me.

Emma's POV:

I don't know why but I started tearing up after Stacy was talking at my grave. I felt so mad at her for not sticking up for me. I felt thankful for me being gone. I didn't get picked on anymore I actually got to someone who actually loved me for me. Maybe if someone actually cared for me I would of never committed suicide. I started crying even more when I thought about what my mom & dad was probably thinking or feeling. I felt so bad ending the way I did I could of at least said goodbye, left a note, a video, a message, a texted anything but instead I didn't. I left nothing for them but Amanda. How could Amanda sit there & let me die like that!? How could she not call for help!? I mean like why didn't she!? O felt my face burning from getting angry. I wanted Amanda dead but not just amanda I wanted all of them dead. I couldn't do after all I was dead. I thought to myself how could I kill all of the people that didn't help me & even picked on me hmm maybe I could... noo that wouldn't work... or maybe noo... I know I could....

Stacy's POV:

I didn't see Amanda at school today I wonder where she could of been. I called her phone it was off. I thought maybe she stayed home. I called her house no answer there. So I went to the office & I asked the principal if Amanda was coming to school today. The principal had said "Amanda's mom called me a little bit ago, she's not coming into school today she's sick." So I said "Okay mom thank you" & I left the room.

Amanda's POV:

I had asked my mom if I could stay home today she had told me "yeah of course you can sweety I know your going through a rough time right now, call me on my cell phone if you need me to come home."