Take Me Back

Take Me Back - Part 3

My eyes stare at my own lifeless body. So that's how I look like. My wavy black hair fallen onto my face, my tan skin dyed with blood, my lifeless black eyes staring straight at a picture, my mouth curved into a sad smile, honestly I felt bad for myself. It's not in a selfish way; I mean it's like how you feel bad when a puppy gets hurt. It's like in that way, but if you could see how I look like, the moment of my death. I can guess you would probably feel bad for me as well. I stared at the pool of blood, and the pool of tears, they were slowly mixing together. I cried, and cried, until I died. In this moment I felt like crying, crying for myself, crying for everyone but yet I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to scream and hurt the one who killed me so suddenly. I wanted to hurt them so badly, but yet I don't.

I fall to the ground, my knees coming in contact with the ground first, my face turned down towards the invisible floor and tears fell slowly onto the empty nothingness. My arms limp by my sides. I didn't feel like experiencing this anymore, I couldn't bear to see this anymore, I couldn't bear see how people react to my death, to see them in so much pain. We all think it's going to great and funny to see how people react to our deaths. But in actual truth, it isn't great; it's painful and agonizing. Why? Because you see the people you love in pain.

Did you know, before we die we have 7 minutes of life left? Within those 7 minutes we view our entire lives, from start to beginning. That's what I saw, that's why I was crying, because I saw my childhood, everyone I loved. I saw memories I had forgotten about, people I forgot about. I just regretted always taking things for granted, like friends, things, people. I look back up to my body and close my eyes, tears streaming down my cold face.

I came home and closed the door behind me; once I entered through the door I was greeted with loud shouting coming from the living room. I sighed and walked towards the lounge, I managed to find my parents and my sister screaming at one another. Well it was mainly my mum and sister quarrelling; my dad was just in the background. At home, it was like this a lot. Dad didn't usually interfere, he usually left that up to me, I was never quite sure why he lets me do it.

"Mum, Kim. Seriously, stop. What happened this time?" I asked both of them and once I did the house went quiet, my mum and sister were still glaring at one another. Although, the screaming did stop at least. There was silence for at least 5 minutes until my mum finally broke the ice and spoke up.

"Your sister here came back last night, drunk and she stunk of smoke." My mother spat out in disgrace.

"At least I am having fun unlike you, a woman who is crazy and only takes and favors only one single child! You're a sick woman who doesn't care." Kimberly sneered. I swallowed and stood in between them.

" Yeah, I love Kristina better than you because she's a better daughter, she makes me proud! She's so much better than you; you were just a sad accident. I should have gotten an abortion when I had the chance." I looked at my mother with sadness and slight shock.

"Please, come on. Mum, Kim you both don't mean that. You love each other. Come on, act like responsible women and settle this the right way rather than throwing insults at one another." I looked at both of them while saying my speech. But as always they don't listen because before I knew it they were on the floor screaming and fighting one another. By this time my dad decided to interfere, I pulled at my sister while dad pulled at his wife. I dragged my sister into the kitchen and once I did, she forcibly took herself out of my grasp.

"Come on Kim. Please work this out with mum, you know how much you both mean to me and how I hate seeing you both fight." I try to touch her arm but she recoils from my touch. Then she turns towards me with a scowl.

"You know what Kristy. I actually and genuinely hate you. You were always the perfect child, the one who did everything right. The one mum and dad praised, while me. Your older sister who did nothing right, who was the test run. Thanks for your love and pity that you gave me. But I don't need you anymore. I don't need you as a sister anymore." I could feel a tear slowly make its way down my face. She bumped my shoulder on her way out of the house; she slammed the door loudly making me wince slightly. I could hear my mum shout something from the living room, which were along the lines of "Good Riddance". It wasn't good riddance though. I just lost my sister, the one person who didn't care about what I did, or what my grades were. She was the one person in my family who loved me for me, and I lost her because of my mother. I made my way over to the living room, rage running through my body, I went over to my mother and slapped her. She stood there in shock and so did my father.

"You are a very sad woman who does not care about anyone but herself. You spend our money on clothes, clubs, makeup and etc. Yet you blame Kimberly for coming back home wasted when you do the same. You're the reason why Kimberly hates me. You hate Kimberly because she is basically the younger version of the you, now. So you cannot yell my sister for things you commit as well. You are a very self-absorbed and inconsiderate mother. You do nothing for this family, you don't clean, you don't cook, and you don't have a job. All you do is spend. You do nothing for this family. Which is why I am asking you to get out. Now." I looked her dead in the eye; she could tell I was being serious. But nonetheless she argued back.

"You are not the boss of me Kristina. I am your mother, I gave birth to you. You should be grateful, you shouldn't be telling me to get out of my own house." She scowled at me, but my face stayed the same, angry.

"Yes, you may have given birth to me, but you never acted like a mother to me, you've never even taken care of me when I was a child. All you did was party, drink, smoke and so on. You haven't even tried to get a job, to even support us. You let dad do all the work, to take care of Kim and me, to get us food, shelter. You should be the one who is grateful because one day, you'll have no one to give you whatever you want. So yes, I am telling you to get out, unless you actually have a valid reason as to why you should stay." I was taller than my mother by 2 inches so I easily towered over her. She didn't bother to argue with me anymore.

She walked to the door, taking one look behind her before stepping out of our house. I took a deep breath and fell to the floor, no tears were coming out. Just realization of what had just happened and what I had said. Yes, I was sad. I couldn't believe that I asked my own mother to get out.