I went outside, it was pouring. My feet touch the cold asfalt and my hair was wet. I never could've imagine me do this. I need to walk to his house barefoot in the rain and kiss him till my breathe stops. He's the only one who could feel what I feel. Who could touch me in a way I've never been touched before.
But instead of all of this, I lie in my bed. Staring at the seiling, watching the mistakes of white paint I made in the corners. I recognized myself in that. Nothing can ever go right, I always make mistakes. Even if I think I don't. Deep inside I do.
Chapter 1
It was 11am, I was still asleep.
The doorbell rings, I open the door with little eyes and messy hair. Secretly hoping he would stand there with a message. Maybe with flowers? I am hoping to much, why couldn't it be like in the movies. I need this so badly, I screwed myself up. I never have touched his lips even talked to them. I feel like his stalker, I know his name, were he lives. Social internet does a lot lately, just a shame he couldn't discover me between all those girls. 'Hello, earth to Layla.' It was my boyfriend. He snapped his fingers in my face. 'Yes, well hi. Didn't expect you to be here so early.' 'Right on time, sweetheart.' 'Is it 1p.m already?' I look at my clock, he could read my eyes. I knew he was right. I tried to avoid his visit by calling I was sick last night, but apperantly it didn't work. 'I bought you some Ben&Jerry's' he said. 'Oh thank you, that's nice.' After all it was my favourite ice cream. Ben&Jerry's never let me down. I acted like it was tasty, but it wasn't. Especially not when he looks at me while I eat it. I couldn't enjoy it, normally I watch a sad movie and cry when my mouth is full of ice cream. But I think he would break up with me if I did that. Or no, he wouldn't that's the problem. He would love me like I am, it's horrible! Because I don't love him back that way anymore. I said it, now you all know how I feel. Feelings suck.
I really don't want to hurt his feelings by saying I'm more into another guy that I have never met. Maybe he's a jerk, who knows? But that's only one of many reasons I want to break up with him. I hate it when he kisses me, but I feel like I have to do it. Cause after all I'm still his girlfriend. I don't want him to know something is wrong. So I did the complete opposite what I really had to do.
Chapter 2
