Zodiac signs for nerds

Who the signs are going to fight

Aries - you
Taurus - their alarm clock
Gemini - the entire human population
Cancer - anyone who makes them cry
Leo - condoms
Virgo - the patriarchy
Libra - everyone but only using their lips
Scorpio - God
Sagittarius - iggy azalea
Capricorn - their parents
Aquarius - bras
Pisces - themselves