The Art of Never Letting Go (Book 2)

smirnoff

//

Smirnoff lang?

May pasok ako.

Ano oras?

Eight.

Sige na. Uwi ka na. Nagpadeliver lang talaga akong alak.

After an hour.

A year after and ganyan ka pa rin.

Ang alagain mo kasi.

Manggagamit, ang sabihin mo.

Kasalanan ko rin. Tsaka hindi ako entirely nagpapagamit naman sa'yo, Maine. I needed this, somehow.

Somehow?

Wala kasi akong ma-feel ngayon. You make me feel human, sometimes.

Bakit?

I borrow your emotions, gano'n.

Ang lalim mo naman.

But you understand.

Yeah.

Parang tayo 'yung sa story ko.

Alin du'n?

'Yung unang-una. The one I first wrote when Alden and I broke up after ten years.

Ah. 'Yung The Devil.

Yeah.

The Devil Who Danced at Midnight. Cliché 'yun. But still, heartbreaking. Years after, kahit ilang stories ang natapos mo, 'yun pa rin ang naalala sa'yo. You owned the universe with that.

Except the real Earth.

Yeah, except the Earth. So I'm Kiel? That goody-good guy? 'Wag na lang. 'Di ako martir.

Eh ano?

Tanga?

Same thing?

Okay.

Okay.

Pero 'di ko gusto 'yun, alam mo 'yun.

Alin?

The Devil.

Bakit?

You made everything sound and look beautiful.

Anong mali du'n?

Fictional masyado. What's so beautiful about a heartbreak? It's ugly. Look at you.

What's so wrong about that?

It doesn't happen in real life. Isipin mo, Maine. The love of your life just didn't choose you. And you made it sound so beautiful that some people wanted a love that great. News flash? It's not great. It's stupid.

Did you come here to hurt me?

No, I came here to slap you with the truth.

Bakit ganu'n, G?

Anong bakit ganu'n?

Bakit ang sakit-sakit ng katotohanan? 'Di ba pwedeng masaya naman 'yung katotohanang isampal sa'kin ng buhay?

Because naturally, life is ugly. But you're selfish, you know.

Alam ko.

Your heart gets broken by one, then you break hundreds. Or thousands, 'di ko alam sakop ng audience mo.

Human nature.

Everytime humans use 'being human' as an excuse for their mistakes - lalo akong naiinis. That's never an excuse.

For logical people like you, yes. For people like me who let their emotions control them, it is valid.

Validation is just a theory.

You know why people write?

Because they are sad.

Yeah. They are. But the world doesn't have time for their sadness, so they turn it into a beautiful kind of art, the kind that is wanted by many. And then they get an audience for their sadness. In the end, they get filled.

With what?

Another fulfilling kind of sadness; the one that tells them that their sadness isn't only theirs but it is actually universal. But it doesn't actually go away, you know.

Wala namang umaalis talaga. Einstein? Energy cannot be created nor destroyed?

Lasing na ba tayo? Ba't ganito?

I'm giving you an excuse for what you're actually feeling. Gamitin mong excuse si Einstein, patay na naman sya, gamitin mo 'yung iniwan nya rito para may napupuntahan 'yung pinag-aralan mo.

I suck at science.

You suck at everything.

Okay, okay.

'Pag tinanong ka, bakit 'di ka makamove-on? Sabihin mo, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, so where is my love supposed to go?

Sa outer space.

Yeah, right. Along with the celestial bodies you fancy too much.

We wanted what we can't have, G.

Ano na naman 'yan, Maine? Human nature? Babaw.

You love my kababawan.

Whatever.

Uwi na. Mag-five na, oh.

'Di ka magsu-suicide?

Don't joke about suicide.

I'm joking because it's with you and you'd understand. Hindi ako insensitive.

Wala naman akong sinabi. Uwi na.

Tingnan mo 'to. Napaka-user.

Next time ulit.

You're considering Ed's proposal?

I'm working on it now.

Kaya pala. Magsulat ka na nga.

Eto na nga.

Don't destroy yourself, ha.

That's the only way to create a beautiful masterpiece.

You don't have to destroy yourself, just so you know.

That's the only way I knew how.

Stop romanticizing pain, okay? It's not pretty! It's not beautifully poetic, Maine!

I don't know, G.

Is that what he taught you? Ang sama naman nya.

That's what I taught myself.

Then look for other ways.

Gago, G. Ang deep natin mag-usap. 'Di ko na kaya.

Madaling araw kasi.

Time is not an excuse. This is so not you, G.

Tina-try ko lang abutin ang level mo, mababaw na human.

Your kind of human?

Not mine. His.

Ito naman. Nilalandi lang kita.

At this age?

Pa-kiss!

Mahigit trenta ka na, Maine. Mag-matured ka naman.

E 'di ikaw na pwedeng maging Tatay.

Ulol.

//