crazy//phan

1

Daniel Howell was not your average 10th year. with bipolar disorder, life wasn't made easy for him. with a total three suicide attempts, booking and planning a trip to Florida, going through everything in the attic and selling more than one hundred pounds worth of junk, and single- handedly teaching his four year old brother sign language, you wouldn't be surprised if you came across one of Dan's counselors while walking around his town.

"Dear diary," he reluctantly wrote in the dim light of a lamp. Ever since his last suicide attempt his mom made him write in a stupid diary ever day. She said that it would help him sort out all of his thoughts, but all it really did was turn into a recorder of the days that ran together. "I ate a buttered crumpet this morning, a few carrot sticks at lunch, and two cups of mashed potatoes." Every day he kept track of what he ate. He was rarely actually hungry. "I talked to my mum, signed with my brother, and a few of my teachers." He rarely spoke. When he did it was never anything more than five words. "I weigh 57.3 kg." He struggled on what to write. He often wrote statistics. "11/4/12".

He glanced at the lime green numbers on his alarm clock. The numbers read 9:38. He had time. Not that his parents really cared about how much he slept. Standing up from his messy bed, he sat the leather-bound book on his dresser. Even though the book was nearly weightless, His fatigued arms made it feel like a brick. He looked around at his barren bedroom. His closet held three boxes; two filled with his old stuffed toys, the third with old clothes. He had a dresser. Four drawers. Dark oak. Brass pulls. His bed, duvet wrinkled up against the wall. His flat pillow and a stuffed bear on the floor. And a lamp, with his school bag leaned against it.

He sat on his bed. He pulled his duvet close to his chest. With no intention, he quickly drifted into a dreamless sleep.

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bless if ur reading this                                                                                                                                                          i'll try to do multiple updates a day, it's summer and i'm antisocial