Band Nerd // Joshler {DISCONTINUED}

«two • solitude»

     Three weeks into school, and Josh and I kept admiring each other from afar, but other than that, we were both too afraid to talk to the other.

     I stepped into the band room on Friday morning to see Josh, in a striking red hoodie, getting his trumpet out. I smirked to myself as I went and set my horn case next to him. I began opening the case when he glanced at me and smiled.

      "Does your horn have a name? I named my trumpet Donald, because y'know, Donald Trump. Its cheesy, but I love it." He said, locking his eyes with mine.

      I was surprised, as I thought I was alone in naming my instrument. "Yeah actually, I named mine blurry because I can never see a clear reflection of my face in it."

       "Ah, cool," He went and sat next to a stand and began practicing, and oh man was it beautiful. I placed my horn back in its case and sat next to him and just listened. For the next 10 minutes my attention was on Josh and his trumpet, and that only.

      "How do you do it? Like, how do you have time to practice every day and get that good?" Small talk. I knew most people didn't care about this, but anything I could do to talk to this boy was worth it.

       "Passion. That's the only word I've got for it. Music is my life. I wanna be in a real band someday, so I've gotta work for it." He gave me the most genuine smile I think I've ever seen. Holding up Donald, he said "This expensive piece of metal has gotten me through the toughest times."

      Nodding, I blushed. Just simply being in the same room as him made me happy, and talking to him made me ecstatic. We had no classes together, so I only saw him on the bus, lunch, and on this rare morning in the band room.

     His eyes shone with appreciation as they looked at his trumpet. "I play  drums a bit too, but other than that, I don't do much. So my time is consumed with music."

     Humming in response, I heard the bell ring. "See ya later I guess," I flashed a smile, and off I went.

***

     "Julia!!! Where are you?" Oh shit. Heavy footsteps on the stairs was my brain's fight or flight signal. Adrenaline pumping, my heart rate increased rapidly. I quickly shoved my phone under my pillow and pretended to be doing homework as my dad barged in my room. "Hey faggot! Did ya forget that your dad existed?"

     Refusing to make eye contact, I hummed a no. He grabbed my pencil out of my hand and shoved me against the wall.

     "I've got a pretty lady coming over tonight for dinner, so either stay in your room and act like you don't exist, or get lost and go to one of your friends', if you even have them,"

     "Okay," I wanted this conversation to be over as soon as it started. If you said the wrong thing to my father those hands could traumatize you.

      "Good." And with that, he left, so I went to text my groupchat with Riley and Christine.

tyjolefryjo: yo can i hang with either of you in a hour my dads being an ass

spookychristinemas: ahh sorry man my aunts over

rileymp: oh dude ive got volleyball im sorry

tyjolefryjo: oh its okay dw

tyjolefryjo: ill just skate to the lake or something

spookychristinemas: what about joshhhh ;)

tyjolefryjo: hush

tyjolefryjo: i dont even have his number or anything

rileymp: i have his snapchattt

tyjolefryjo: YO

tyjolefryjo: HELP A BROTHER OUT

rileymp: its spooky.jim

spookychristinemas: smh hes a copier

tyjolefryjo: ahhhhh ily youre awesome

rileymp: use protection

tyjolefryjo: fuck you i'm not that dumb

spookychristinemas: u didnt even deny the fact the u wanna do da secks with him

rileymp: wow

tyjolefryjo: bye losers i have a boy to steal

     I quickly added his snapchat, and waited for him to add me back. Around the time that I figured my dad would want me to leave, I slipped on a hoodie and some chucks and escaped through the back door.

     My long hair kept getting whipped around by the wind, and I regretted not tying it. As I started to think of how I'd look to others with my hair, my stomach sunk as I realized everyone still thought of me as a girl. Julia, the girl, instead of Tyler, the boy. It sucked ass.

     *DING* I grabbed my phone after hearing the snapchat notification signal. Josh had added me back. I began smiling like an idiot and didn't care if the people passing me thought I was insane.

     Approaching the lake, I smiled seeing that it was void of human life. I could sit here and listen to my music without interruption. I had wanted to practice with blurry tonight, but that would have to wait.

     I opened my phone, and realized that Josh had sent me a chat.

Josh 🎺: bonjour there horn tooter

Me: ciao there trumpet squeaker

     Putting my earbuds in, I sat on a large rock, and shuffled all of my music, awaiting a response from Josh. I watched a momma bird feed her kids some worms, and I'm pretty sure I dozed off after that.