It hurts.
It hurts bad.
When you're so sad you can't breathe.
When you're so depressed you can't get out of bed.
When he/she said I love you everyday.
They texted you "good morning beautiful" and "goodnight, baby".
When they kissed you for the first time.
When you felt special.
The cutting stopped.
You felt like you might get better.
But it shattered
They ended it
And you thought it was your fault.
When you laid in bed crying all day and night
The cuts got worse
Pills came into the picture
Having to wear hoodies and long pants in 100° heat to hide your scars
Saying " I'm fine" when you're not
Wishing god would just strike you down.
You're only 12, or 13.
Too young to be having to go through that.
I know all this....
Because I was the one with the girlfriend who told me she loved me
I was the one who felt my problems going away.
And I was the idiot who let one little thing ruin me.
I'm the one who cuts everyday
I'm the one who takes 20 pills every 3 minutes.
I'm the one who lies about being ok
I'm the one who starves myself.
All because I can't handle heartache.
