Randomness of a Wattpadian Girl

Why Am I Still Here?

So there was a red huge water bug crawling on the floor, now mom just did her nails so she had decapitated it and had it in a cup. She made me, knowing I hate them, get a rubber glove and clean up the guts and legs. As I put the baby wipe in the cup it was in it tipped over and got out. I screamed and freaked out. I hate them, I despise then so much. And it was still going without a head and leg. So mom was yelling at me to pick it up in the cup. I couldn't make myself do it. I mentally and physically could not do it. I was in tears crying, gah, still am as I write this, saying I can, I just can't. My sister and mom were laughing, they thought it was amusing. So my mom saif I can't live on my own unless I learn how to kill those bugs. She said some other things like she was going to make me something I was to hysterical to remember. I ended up doing it and I, ah, it just creeps me out. This is a real phobia of mine, I will scream bloody murder even if it was just a foot away, the closer the more I scream. So then my mom said "that it is a stupid bug. It is ten times smaller than you. You need to get over it. It's stupid to be afraid of it. You have God on your side, its a stupid but" and me being me, anyone with a huge phobia it is more than that. I am still shaking. My mom thinks its stupid for me to be sacred of the bug ... this is why I can't take it anymore. No I'm not doing anything. It's just, my phobia isn't a phobia, my sister said I am not social awkward I am just a baby ... which is not to. I freak out when I have to talk to someone ... but yeah, just a small story of what happened a few moments of ago...