"Please, just tell me ben. We are bros."
"I want to, it's just, we've been friends for so long and I don't want to jeopardize that."
"Ben."
I just have to tell him. Nick isn't part of my life anymore, why am I worrying about him? It's my life not his. Why can't I just let him go? I can feel myself losing my grasp but it's been well long enough that it's let go.
"Trev, I like you."
His face just went blank. It made me scared, did he not like me back? Well, he's straighter than a log, but he couldn't be bisexual? Anything? I ruined everything.
"Ben, I just. I can't. I like you. I really do. But I just can't."
Then he ran out of the bus and went somewhere, I have no idea where. I'm losing everyone I love. Why did it have to come to this? I should just give up. There's nothing that would keep me from not giving up.
I pulled the 30 inch dildo out of my ass.
"I'm sorry, im not rogue anymore. I just can't deal with this anymore."
I threw it into the distance. Whoever finds it, good for them, they have something to be proud of at least. I have nothing anymore. I'm just numb, my heart has been shattered to many times, people just want me as their 'good boy' and then they let me go. They don't take the unconditional love I give them. No one does. My parents left, everyone has left. I have to start a new life without my past. I'm going to fly to Saint Louis and start my life.
One day later, he took a cab to the airport & was getting ready to board.
Today is the day I start my life. No stopping this time. I sat down in my plane seat, and I got settled in.
"Ready for takeoff." The pilot announced.
We got up in the air, it was so calming for me to see the city lights at night. We finally got to the top, above the clouds.
One hour later
"Greetings, i would like to announce that there will be heavy turbulence one the way down. Please fasten your seat belts." The flight attendant announced.
About 10 minutes, and my life comes to one of its most horrible memories.
The plan started shaking more than it should've.
Smoke came out of the wing, causing me to panic.
No, we can't be crashing. I can't start things like this. Please don't crash, just please!
Then, it happened. The captains radio muffled and the plane plunged really fast.
I closed my eyes, and cried to myself. I was saying in my head over and over again, "please let me live, god!"
Then, the plane hit the ground.
All I could see was black.
