Random Thoughts

Me Me Me.......

Hi  ! I'm a girl, maybe i'm 15 years old and i got no name. I got no family but a bunch of people surrounding me, that's probably why i can live this long. "PATHETIC' is the word for me, i make it through this far by the love of God ( i heard that a lot, and i kinda believe it too tho). So, big thanks to God who has been keeping this bitch for so long and this far. Don't worry, i'm not that negative and i kinda satisfied with my life right now. I mean, i got to work and live in this store,yeah in this store that almost got no customer  and  got no stuff to offer. Ha ha ha....., it's weird right ? 

The owner of this store is a 89 yo granny who loves me so much and treat me as her own grandchild. So me working in a store as an underage can't be categorized as a child labor, maybe it is more like adopting a child and the child is somehow help me with the store and i gave her allowance every month {?} Actually i don't understand why this granny still wants to run a store and wasting her money to pay me every single month and not just use it to buy more things to sell /. But, i should be grateful right ? At least i got a place to go and money and a granny who loves me.

granny : " Chan, can you get me my teeth pwease ( please ) ?"

me : "okay, boss ! "

Yeah, the granny calls me Chan as (can in cantik ), i just simply add h in between so that people wont misunderstood my name  as a can in can bottle. But i still don't consider Chan as my name, NO  ! NEVER ! I'll choose my own name when i grow a little bit more, a name that is very mysterious and anti mainstream, so yeah , i got to wait a little bit more. For now, i'm fine with people calling me Chan. 

Oh right ! I usually call the granny 'Boss' , Why ? Simply because she is my boss and every favor she asks me to do is like a command to me. I'm sure she is pretty sad that i call  her boss, but it is just, i don't really want to have a family and i think i'm not good enough to be her grandchild. I much prefer with this employer and employee relationship .

My hobby is to be alone and writing poetry, u sure know that i never go to school, but thanks to the boss's help, i have the ability to write. If my brain is not smart enough to go to high school, at least i can do this much. My biggest fear is to die before i even do anything, i mean, i still want to be more useful than now. I can't just come and go  and using all the oxygen in this world right ?   It's an awful fact that many people these days died in such a stupid way and didn't do something more meaningful.

 I don't need everyone in the world to remember my presence, i just need someone that will smile every time he thinks of me.  And my dream is to live my life to the fullest. I really hate how people live nowadays : they born, growing up, get to the nicest university, they work, get married, have kids, growing old and die. And don't you think we, humans are more capable than to control and being controlled with other human ? You can say school is hard, working is hard, have a health issue is hard, and blah blah blah, but don't you think you are way more capable than this ?