Arctic dreams || harry fanfic

2

The vacancy of deception has overcome it's stay. The one track mind has stayed in place as it knows it's day to day schedule. What's it's next move, if it needs to go left or right, I know my exact plans before I even plan them. Yet when I am in a dream my thoughts overcome me and wash out my whole body. Some call me fearless because I'm never afraid of anything but put me in a situation that is not possible to get out alive, and you will only find fear. It's as if I'm divergent when people talk to me. I hear one thing and change it in to a new factorial.

Nothing's different but at the same time nothings the same. It's all lucid, vivid what ever you want to call it. It's still that one thing everyone fears. It's death in everyone's mind that turns blank. The excruciating pain of independency and spontaneous ways that keep you from falling on the net. You will only miss the target and hit face first. The people that say they don't need plans or structure are lying. Their mind is driven by it just like everyone else. They just become high or inconclusive to the point where they can't here their brain screaming for a safe haven.

Believe me when I tell you I wish getting high or anything really could stop the screeching noise inside me to stop. That's just the thing though, at a point in their life they die and the screaming stops. Cause it was scheduled, it was planned. They all set it up so they know when to mourn and when to jump and scream. I wish I could have that, that excitement, those tragic feelings, yet I don't. I go numb when it comes to anything close to me. A switch in my mind shuts off and tells me know ones gonna schedule when you die, cause no one cares.

I'm already dead to them, the world shuts me out and the only contact with it is through dreams. That's why one of my biggest fears is that arctic cold rush I get before I die each time. It warns me that I'm on the epitome of death and I'm just about to plunge. There's no one there to save me, so I warn myself before it happens. I've never had a dream where I was sure I was gonna make it out alive, cause it never happens. That's why I try to keep schedule but it never happens.

The depth of staying alive in a dream or not is my only way through it.

It's my only way out of my arctic dreams.

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Hey guys I would just like to say a huge thank you to all of the amazing people who helped me with my cover. I have had around five people make covers for me and they are absolutely stunning and I can't even choose which one I want.