Position Vacant
Applicant must be punctual,
organised, calm and efficient.
IMMEDIATE START
Interviews: Monday 9am
I have always hated Mondays and I could see that this one wasn’t going to change my mind. My coffee was cold, I couldn’t find my stupid umbrella and my clothes were still wet, hanging over the oven door. I rotated a wet hem for an even wetter collar, put my mug next to the one from yesterday in the microwave and searched everywhere for an umbrella. I would have been happy with ANY umbrella, just as long as it wasn’t the bumblebee.
Twenty minutes later, I was marching down the footpath, trying to see my stop through the black and yellow stripes of my umbrella. I had missed my bus, but didn’t they all end up in the city eventually? My collar was wet and the waistband of my trousers was extremely cold, but as I looked around, I realised I was glad to be wearing my boots at least. Why didn’t more people wear gumboots when the weather was wet? It didn’t make any sense!
The first bus appeared, but it kept driving straight past my stop. I could see it was completely full, with the passengers pushed up against each other down the centre aisle. The next bus did exactly the same thing...and the next. The rain had made them much busier than usual. The next one pulled in next to the kerb and I joined the line.
“Prepay only Ma’am”, said the driver, as I went to pay him from my purse. “But I don’t have a ticket, and I’m late for an important appointment!” I cried. “Prepay only Ma’am”, he said, shaking his head and looking straight ahead, ready to drive on as soon as I got off the bus. I turned around and stepped down into a puddle on the street. What a miserable driver! “I hope you step on a piece of lego tonight on your way to bed!” I shouted at him, as the bus drove away.
Half an hour and six buses later, I was still standing in the pouring rain at my stop. Another bus came around the corner, but I could see it was the bright yellow of a school bus. It would have to do! Surely parents and teachers sometimes caught the school bus too?
“Morning!” said the driver, cheerfully. “Wet one, isn’t it?”. I smiled and found myself a seat next to a small girl with two plaits and freckles on her nose, tucking my umbrella in between us. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I would be late, but at least I was on my way.
“Why do you have an umbrella that looks like a bumblebee?” asked the girl, “I thought they were only for kids”.
“Yeah”, said the small boy in front of us, “they are for kids, not for adults. My sister has one that looks like a ladybug.”
“And why is your collar so wet if you have an umbrella?” said the little girls beside me, “Did you forget to put it up?”.
“No, she would have remembered,” added the boy sitting across the aisle, “She has gumboots too, so she is really, really ready for rain.” He nodded, seriously.
I smiled. “As a matter of fact, this is my favourite umbrella! I like to make a buzzing sound as a walk, to confuse people.” The bus filled with giggles. “And don’t any of you have a wet collar? How weird! It reminds me of being at the beach after putting dry clothes on over my cossies. I do it all the time.” More giggles. By the time we reached the city, we were all singing The Wheels on the Bus Go Round & Round and buzzing in between verses like bumblebees. It was the most fun I had had in ages.
I stepped off the bus with the children and turned back to say thank you to the driver. He was sitting back, pouring hot coffee from his thermos. “You’re welcome!”, he replied, “Join us anytime. He then pointed to a sign stuck in the first window of the bus, and added, I don’t suppose you’ve ever considered being a bus driver?”
Position Vacant
Applicant must be cheerful,
fun, friendly and a little bit crazy!
IMMEDIATE START
Ask the driver!
