An Unfortunate Girl

Part title

"Life", such a simple four letter word with the most complicated meaning. For some it is finding themselves, or finding the love of their life or the picture of which people think they are the artist but the command, the brush is only with the Creator of the Universe. But for some, it is just survival, or just being alive because they are weak to end it or maybe they have the hope that the next day will be better. 

Snapping myself out of my thoughts, I look at the white walls, the smell of ethanol burning my nostrils,  my head still dizzy from all the crying, sobbing and weeping. Sitting in the waiting room of this hospital, my mind recalls the hazy memories of the person cooped up inside the whitewashed hell hole or sometimes heaven for someone.

I love him with my dear heart, with my soul, although I could not spend my entire life with him, wishing I could, but here I am praying, no begging to God to not take my breath away from me. I guess, hospitals are the places that have heard more prayers than temples, or mosques or churches.

I hear the commotion in the surrounding where a mother is carrying her lifeless baby, as her world is also being ripped apart as if she knows that, this is the last time she will be holding her child. My pain is not exactly the same but, it may have been other way round and I crave it to be because that sorrow would have been less painful, but it is not.

In my heart, I know he is not gonna make it but I am not prepared for this, how can one be ready for death, people say life is hard, death is easy but it is totally, utterly and absoultely bullshit. Who said death is easy, its easy for the person sometimes, but it is painful for the people related to the dead people, they take away a part of the person related to him or her and that part can never be replaced, and what is left is just either numbness or grief.

I sigh at my thoughts, and let my eyes close praying again for his well being.